This might sounds very immature. But I'm really struggling. Please don't mock me. Thank you.
I'm a high school student (Chinese born Canadian). I grew up doing ballet, then fell in love with Chinese classical and folk dance after moving to Canada. But I can't watch any Chinese dance live shows here.
I push myself hard academically (good university, good job, social respect). But every time i go online I see dancers on stage, I think: that's what I really want. Even just standing in a corner of the stage, with lights and applause, that feeling means everything to me. But I'm an amateur. No matter how well I dance, no one will come to see me.
In China, to become a professional dancer, you need at least 10 years of full-time dance school and a diploma. Given my age and where I am, it's impossible.
So I'm asking: how do you cope when you know your dream will never happen?
These thoughts are hurting my daily life. I already struggle with procrastination, bad sleep, and moderate anxiety. I can't afford to dwell on this, but I can't stop thinking about it. Sometimes I wish I had never loved dance at all.