Heartbroken
My second reduction was supposed to be in 17 days. But my Amazon cart with all the supplies won't be sent, and the surgery is cancelled.
I've been \*through\* it trying to find a surgeon. Rejections because it's a second, no call backs, unrealistic weight requirements, surgeons not participating with insurance, tears, months of PT. Since nobody local seemed to work, I was encouraged to look in NYC since it's a day trip.
I was thrilled to find one quickly. He's all over social media, and even endorsed on here. \*\*He has 150+ 5 star reviews on Google.\*\* I even recommended him to someone here.
We met over Zoom after he looked at the photos I sent. He told me he could get me to a C or D, I'd be approved by insurance, and we wouldn't need to meet in person until the morning of surgery. But that felt off, so I requested to meet him in person before the surgery, and today was that meeting.
After examining me today, he said he'd only be able to reduce my areolas and take \~150g per breast. At a 38G, that's less than a cup, and much less than insurance requirements. It wouldn't help my back pain, shoulder grooves, the emotional turmoil, the clothing problems. He decided we should cancel my surgery, and gave me the name of someone else. I doubt they'll call me back.
I broke down in tears in my stupid paper gown, and sat in silence for three hours on the ride home. Why? Why? Why? I was so close. So many surgeons. What am I doing wrong? What's wrong with my body? Why can't I find someone who can do this, and help me to feel comfortable and normal? Is it really that impossible to do a second reduction that will provide relief?
I never got the joy of feeling good in my skin from my first reduction. I was left huge then, and I'd be huge still if I went with this doctor. But it's been 19 years since my first surgery. Am I supposed to give up? Or am I supposed to be looking for a different kind of surgeon with another specialty?
Heartbroken doesn't even begin to capture it.