u/Boring-Fly7395

Hi, me again! 👉🏻👈🏻

Just shared two days ago how I started Mounjaro and how confusing all these feelings are. (Look here: https://www.reddit.com/r/antidietglp1/s/PHAepeDGwy)

Besides not having any side effects (yay, lucky me!), I noticed that instead of the disappearence of food noise (I’d say I didn’t have an to begin with;also maybe hard to conclude after two days, idk) I've got a lot, what I like to call „diet noise“ for now.
Very complex, probably very normal, too. I think I’m just trying to find like minded people on a similar path from whom I can learn how to navigate all of that.
The first place I always turned to was Social Media.

I find it a little difficult to find ✨us✨ on common platforms, do you have any recommendations?

I’m not a podcast person unfortunately and I did use the search function in this sub but so far I didn’t strike gold, so to say.

Are there any public figures on Social Media that you’ve found calming, informed, anti-diet at least to some extent?

Thank you in advance. 💕

Edit: wording error

Hey everyone, I don’t know what I’m hoping by posting my thoughts here, maybe just a little reassurance. It’s a long read and maybe a little confusing, I’m just writing down my thoughts (the journal factory exploded, yes) plus English is not my mother tongue so bear with me. 🥲

The past couple months have been exhausting to say the least, because I went from „No, absolutely no GLP-1 for me!“ to „Damn, I should give it a try.“ I don’t wanna get too much into my past, I think many here can relate regarding ED, apparently been a big kid, dieting enforced by mother, awful teenage years, always trying to become thin, yadda yadda. Took me so much time and energy to unlearn all that stuff, people on the internet once taught me everything I know regarding self hate (2000s heroine chic era, need I say more?) and then other people taught me better and I did the work. Six years ago I finally decided to never try any diet ever again, to never pursue weight loss again, I wanted to heal my relationship with food. I mostly did, can’t even fathom the concept behind „food noise“, for me that was something I had when I was still knee deep into ED territory. Anyways.

Became an ICU nurse with 20, studied Health Sciences some years later, wrote my bachelors in the realm of Fat Studies two years ago. All is well.
Now. I’ve got diagnosed with PCOS when I was 17, never ever had a regular period but at some point I decided I don’t want to get pregnant in my life anyways so a missing period might even be a blessing. Doctors never really informed me about the metabolic downsides of PCOS, never mentioned inflammation, only: Loose the weight. Eat healthier. Move more. Never once asked what I was already doing regarding that. Only enforcing a unhealthy relationship to my body, food, movement.
It’s such a classic and well known experience in the community of big people, I don’t feel the need to get into it more lol.

The past couple years weight loss injections became popular, it rattled the community I found peace in, among fellow fat people. I’ve read so many think pieces to try to form an opinion, ended up very hesitant towards it. I STILL don’t like the image of GLP-1. That weight loss image. Hate it.
With aging, my PCOS got worse. Constant exhaustion, constant lower back pain, elevated liver parameters, pre-diabetic, also developed severe Psoriasis that is currently under treatment with a biological. Dermatologist also once hopped on the: Loose weight, your skin will become better, fat cells, inflammation blablabla. He’s right, of course, but man, the stereotype that fat people are just lazy burger eaters that need to cut the Coca Cola and will drop 20kg is such a common and harmful one.
So. A lot of people around me started taking GLP-1. Not necessarily close people or people sharing an anti diet mindset but still, it triggered me massively. Found myself mentally occupied with the idea of weight loss and dieting again. I didn’t want that. I don’t want to become skinny. I learned to love my body. I can’t do all of that again with a new body. I don't wanna buy new clothes, I don’t wanna get treated better because I’m thinner. I want to be treated nicely while being big. I don’t want to deal with guilt because I feel like betraying my fellow fat friends. I don’t want our history and fights being erased. Finally, I looked for therapy.
My therapist didn’t encourage me to try GLP-1, but she’s sitting with me and all these worries. And she’s seeing the exhaustion. The down right depression behind it.

I want normal liver parameters, a normal HbA1c, less inflammation, less exhaustion (I don’t even remember never not being exhausted and I don’t even work full time???). My therapist was the first professional person that said: Well, you have a metabolic disorder since you are at least 17. Of course all your efforts for weight loss don’t work.

And that clicked.

I still have all those worries. Since I’m in therapy, I actually, for the very first time, really take care of my body by going to doctors (avoided it bc I’m an ICU nurse, they don’t tell me anything new anyways 🤪 plus didn’t want to deal with the guaranteed medical fatphobia). And it’s so hard, I never had to advocate for myself so, so much. Have to prove that I KNOW what I’m talking about. That I’m not what they think I am when they see my body.

I’m at a GP with multiple doctors, two days ago I had to go in for a referral (I’ll get my varicosis fixed, also ignored that for too long 🙃) and had one I haven’t been to before. I asked him about prescribing Tirzepatide. Tried to tell him that I don’t wanna loose weight but I wanna treat the PCOS, my liver and HbA1c and if weight loss is the side effect, I’ll work with my therapist through it. He right out didn’t believe me lmao. First I thought he didn’t want to prescribe it to me. He went on about „Oh but your XY is only XZ elevated, that’s not too bad, you only need to move a little more.“ and it took all my might to stay calm and explain to him that weight loss through increased movement and healthier eating will not be happening. He still wasn’t convinced but he somehow switched attitudes and see me fit for that medication „and it’ll work wonderfully especially because you already know so much about it. I wouldn’t go higher than 5mg but here’s the prescription and I’ll see you in 4 weeks!“
The entire encounter wasn’t what I wished for, I feel like he won’t be participating in that therapy in a way I wish for myself and won’t check labs without me asking for it. But hey, at least (I guess) he didn’t force me on a scale. (I live in Germany and have to pay for it out of pocket, so no insurance that needs numbers.) I also don’t have a scale at home (considering buying one now but I’m hesistant since that was one of the first things to go when I started recovering and I’ve learned to FEEL my body and weight fluctuation again, without numbers dictating my life.

I’m in such a weird place. I look at „weight loss transformation“ pictures not aching to archive the same but to look for signs that these people still look like themselves. It’s so confusing, especially when I think how I once was. And what I might become.

So yeah. Anyone feel me? I’m sure I’m not alone, this sub has been very reassuring already.

Edit: Oh yeah. Forgot to mention. I gave myself the first jab of Mounjaro 2,5mg around 3hrs ago. I try not to tune too much into myself. I hope I’ll be okay tomorrow since I have a 7hrs advanced life support training refresher lol