u/Boppity78

Where do I even begin? You look better than I ever imagined. You're so down to earth and, I don't know...just so, gosh...attractive. My lordy. 🔥

I miss you so much. I hate the partings so much.

My goodness sake, how I hope something happens and this barrier can get broken down and we can just BE.

Be together

Be alone

Be in the same house

Be in the same bed

Be eating together

Be drinking together

Be sleeping together

Be having morning coffee's together

Be hanging out together

And so many more be's

I promise you, there will never be anyone for me but you. I promise you, you have my entire heart and body. I only have eyes for you, how I've only had eyes for you for so long. You're so comforting, and you're my home. My person. My everything.

I know I'm not much of a looker anymore, but dang it, you sure are.

I want you so bad. 😭 💔

I'm still working on trying to understand why this path was chosen for me. I do my best to dig deep and learn from it, and understand and have peace with it.

It's not at all as I had ever believed in my heart, it's nothing like I ever anticipated or thought.

It's years and years of heartache and longing. Wishes never coming true and hopes continuously and never-endingly zapped. Yet the hope is like a tiny ember that keeps on burning. I wish that last little ember would fizzle out and disappear.

It won't though. It's just there. I can't get rid of it no matter how hard I try.

I don't understand this path I got placed on. I work so hard to have peace with it all. I cry endless tears and walk with constant heartache. You've seen every single part of me, my body and mind yet still see me as a stranger. The word "marriage" is so foreign to you.

I feel so foreign to you. It hurts. Every single day non stop, I hurt. I just wish it could stop. I need a break.

I hope you don't feel these things too. I want you to be happy. After all of these empty years without you, and only seeing endless empty years ahead, I hope you never feel hurt like this.

I don't understand why we met. I don't understand this path. I don't understand the ache. I'm so much older now, yet I'm the same. I haven't changed. I'm simply on this forever path.

I just hope one day to understand. That's all.