Hello, this is my first post here. I am starting to settle on being a sang vampire and at the same time non-human. I have been lurking around otherkin and vampire communities since 2007, but the communities had a strong focus on 18+ people, so I couldn't really get much out of them at the time. I dropped all related interests and tried to bury all non-conventional interests for 15 years, yet here I go again.
This human body vessel is at this point 30+ years old. Very little visible aging signs are there and most humans think of me being 10 years younger, no one guesses my age correctly. My skin is very sensitive to the sun and I get sun rashes, so I often have to cover a lot more, even when it's hot and my eyes are also sensitive to bright lights. To be fair, my mother also had photosensitive eyes and pale skin, but she was not vampiric as I am, yet had a strong connection to elves and fairies.
I am also a trans man, it took me a while to come to terms with my gender. I have been dealing with the feeling of being different and possibly non-human my whole life. Part of my rational self is trying to figure out if this feeling is rooted in trauma since I have lived a pretty isolated life, until fairly recently. So I am trying my best to rule out any mundane reasons first. I am also discussing these feelings with a licensed psychologist.
While I understand there is no time limit on searching for such basic questions, I can't help but feel like I am lagging behind on this and like my indecisiveness is a sign of poor judgement or something.
Are there any others here that are questioning their humanity and identity at a later age? What is it like for you to question?