I cannot afford a piano and I have some training with flute from years ago. I know all the fingerings but I cant keep time to save my life.
The falling block style notation of Synthesia intrigues me. There must be some way to import a MIDI file generated by an actual person playing, and then roll it back with the visualizer to follow along, right?
I am pretty much as "non-traditional" as you can get while still being a cisgender guy. I present in a feminine manner and crossdress because I feel more comfortable that way. I am BI and possibly intersex and polyamorous and kink friendly.
But fuck, I can't seem to connect with any other queer people aside from gay men, whom I don't seem to actually have very much in common with. Every discord server or forum or whatever I try to go to is rife with misandry.
I.E. men suck. Men are awful. Most men are predators. Would you jump into a pit with 1/100 poisonous snakes? ETC.
And when I try to defend myself? I get hit with "yeah, we dont tolerate that 'not all men shit' here and banned. Even if all I did was point out how sexist it is to hate an entire gender for anything, which is a liberal principle you would think most queer people would accept.
Queer spaces are literally so full of this vitriol that sometimes all I will do is introduce myself, and the very first comment I get will be a hate comment slandering all men as a group. Its getting to the point where I am so desperate for a sense of community that I have considered lying about my gender and saying Im a transwoman or non-binary just to avoid the hate.
I love fellow queer people and want to be accepted by them. But I feel totally uncomfortable telling people I am a man around them because even if they initially appear to be nice and accepting, later on they show immense hatred that makes all of their interactions with me suspect from then on.
I really want to find the sense of community alot of queer people seem to have, but how am I supposed to do it when everyone seems to hate me for my gender or my race?
(Sure, white people centuries ago enslaved Africans. That was wrong and I hate it. But that was my ancient ancestors, not me. I didn't do any of that shit. So dont blame me for it.)