u/Bloodredhorizon

Yet we are nothing to each other. Do we even have a label? Not friends, not lovers.. strangers. I guess I'll do with strangers.

Maybe you've noticed the time passing and my body has felt the weight of it, but I wonder sometimes if you remember that night I made you smile.

I didn't expect it, it was only a passing gesture to me, yet it became a very real moment that really touched you and I guess somewhere along the way, I felt like touching you the way you did with me.

I don't know if that moment matters to you now. I have this habit of romanticizing what could've been and what didn't happen, but in that moment it was just us two.

You know it wasn't for sex, nor romance, nor even a friendship. What was it then? A boost to my self esteem? A feeling of being good? Control? In the back of my mind it was none of those things.

In a way, the way I doubted myself was probably something you recognized, and in that moment it was like two broken pieces of a puzzle hugging each other, making sure that the other knows that it is loved, and it still has meaning. Even if the world showed them that they aren't good enough, defective, unattractive, and meant to be abused.

The logical part of me thinks that it is all just a simple mixture of chemicals, avoidant and attachment fixation, but I believe that what we had was real. And if even for a moment, we recognized the light we try to guide ourselves with and the light we try to guide others toward.

Maybe the magic was in the fact that if only for a moment, we stopped trying and showed who we really are.

Keep shining, my shooting star.

I wish i held your hand when I had the chance

I wish we could have that day where night falls and we dance

I wish i was your protector, your lover, your saint and your host

I wish i stood up for you when you needed it the most

I wish you could hurt others and disappoint them without feeling like a jerk

I wish i took care of you like a garden i had the luxury of growing, and not something that would bare fruit with no work

I wish you had a voice and like every day you weren't wearing a muzzle

I wish i still had you on my side and like we weren't two seperate pieces of the puzzle

I wish your mom didn't feel like you hate her

I wish i could speak up my mind so clearly like words on a paper

I wish you could see what was inside my heart

I wish you weren't so afraid of the dark

I wish i paid more attention to the river rather than the ripples

I wish it came easier to you, like it does so effortlessly for other people

I wish that for you i left the city

I wish you still believed in me

I wish you knew how it felt to be free

I wish every sad song didn't remind you of me

I wish you didn't mind her

I wish the world was kinder

I wish i slowly filled your cup

I wish you didn't see what you didn't have to growing up

I wish you poured out your feelings as easy as you do into your music

I wish giving your heart didnt mean others would abuse it

I wish life didn't feel like a becking noose

I wish i didn't cut you loose