Generally, I'm all for people discovering fandom and participating in it. But with the concept of fandom becoming more mainstream, people forget how to act in our spaces and that they do not have to participate in them if they don't want to. I am honestly angry and apalled to see people participate in fandom culture but have no idea how to act in fandom spaces.
The concept of fandom etiquette is dead. I started to participate in fandom spaces in the mid-2010s but I still remember when people would be told off if they directly involve or tag actors/writers/artists/creators in fandom-related discussions. Celebrity interviewers are now chasing social media engagement, so instead of asking interesting questions, they bring up ships and ask actors about what they think about their characters being shipped. God forbid those actors disagree or feel uncomfortable about it, because then people would attack them in the comments section for disagreeing with their ships. Celebrities who take a peak into our spaces voluntarily because they appreciate us as fans—fine, we can't control what they do. But it's a whole other thing when fandom is forced upon them and they're forced to participate as a result.
AO3 becoming mainstream has led to posers complaining on TikTok when they don't like the concepts of certain fanfiction. They have the gall to even bring up censorship and moderation in a digital space where FREE SPEECH AND ANTI-CENSORSHIP ARE THE POINT. Then, they proceed to complain about not finding their desired fanfics, even though there is clearly a search bar and filter system so they can find exactly what they're looking for.
Don't even get me started on people participating in fandom culture who then proceed to COMPLAIN about said culture they're participating in. "Y'all want Character A and Character B to get together, it's annoying." "Stop shipping them OMG, Character A is married to Character C." IF YOU DON'T LIKE, SCROLL. I'm not going to name the fandom where this is so glaringly prominent, but it's so annoying to see posts that are obviously targeted at specific fans, then casual fans and posers start hounding the OPs in the comments because they don't agree. It's like the meme where SpongeBob's arms can literally get free but he just chooses to have those handcuffs on.
Having discussions and discourses about characters/shipping/plots/whatever else are fine, and no one is forcing anyone to hate or love others' opinions. But there are clear times and places to have those discussions and discourses. Starting fires in places that are made to have fun in is just annoying and honestly rude as hell. It's not even fandom etiquette, it's just normal etiquette in general to not bring down the room when everyone else is having fun.
Look, it's okay for new fans participating in fandom spaces to not know what they're doing yet. I know I didn't know much when I started and there are times I definitely fumbled as a newbie. But we're at the point where information is available and people in fandoms are easier to approach compared to before that it's so tiring to see people enter spaces and not even try to act appropriately. Honestly, a lot of fandom etiquette is literally common sense and common decency.
There's also something so irking to me about the fact that fandom used to be viewed as something reserved for nerds, geeks, weird girls, etcetera and we were made fun of for participating in fandoms. But now fandom has become mainstream. Suddenly, all these people who are coming into our spaces are the same people who found us "cringey" back then and continue to find fandom culture cringe despite claiming to join us. Even though they literally don't have to, they still do it for whatever reason. Again, the SpongeBob meme.
Look, I'm all for fandom spaces being welcoming and having more people find the joy in participating in the likes of fanfiction, fanart, etcetera. But we can't even enjoy being in our own spaces without newbies and posers coming at us for just being us.
Being in fandoms should be freeing, not draining.