I have suffered and suffered and suffered all through my life. I don’t want to continue living like this. I’m going to end it all for good. I’m sure no one will even know that I’m dead even after days from now.
I felt that we were really close and then suddenly it ended, it all vanished into thin air. This was different from how i usually would have processed. I really did feel a deep connection, and my mind was in euphoria when i got to know them, this was the person i always had dreamed about and that didn’t help. It seems like something has broken inside me after that. It feels no matter what i do, i might not be enough. It affected me badly as my brain couldn’t process it, there wasn’t enough time, it fell into a chaotic confused state.
I don’t know if I’m the toxic one, I don’t know how someone else sees me. I actually don’t mean any harm to anyone and I’m always willing to listen and try to make things better. In a world where being non-chalant is worshiped and being expressing your emotions is looked down, I don’t know how to survive.
I’m falling back to my old habits, it’s not good. I don’t know how to get back from this, there’s something clearly broken inside me.
I really want someone to give me a tight hug and say It’s okay.
I felt that we were really close and then suddenly it ended, it all vanished into thin air. This was different from how i usually would have processed. I really did feel a deep connection, and my mind was in euphoria when i got to know them, this was the person i always had dreamed about and that didn’t help. It seems like something has broken inside me after that. It feels no matter what i do, i might not be enough. It affected me badly as my brain couldn’t process it, there wasn’t enough time, it fell into a chaotic confused state.
I don’t know if I’m the toxic one, I don’t know how someone else sees me. I actually don’t mean any harm to anyone and I’m always willing to listen and try to make things better.
I’m falling back to my old habits, it’s not good. I don’t know how to get back from this, there’s something clearly broken inside me.
I really want someone to give me a tight hug and say It’s okay.
For the past 2 years, no matter what the setbacks i faced, i was able to motivate myself easily and get on with my day to day tasks and routines.
For the past month, everything has gone down the drain, that I struggle to even motivate myself to get up from my bed in the morning.
It started happening after something that did affect me really badly. I’m not sure why the blow from that had this much of an impact, it should have been fine, it didn’t had to be this bad, but here I’m still unable to recover from that mental blow and struggling. Still confused why it had this much of a deep impact on me. It’s probably because it made me feel that whatever i do, I might not be enough.
It has creeped in to affect my day to day activities. Even if i get myself up and do things, I’m unable to even give anywhere near my full efforts. I’m not someone who tries to be dependent on another person.
I’m feeling really bad about this situation.
Really disappointed with people who lie without any guilt. If it was a white lie, it’s kind of understandable depending on the situation, but saying blatant lies, I don’t understand. There’s no need for them to lie like that, but still they do. I have known this person for over 2 years and to be honest, I don’t trust a single word coming out of their mouth and have found out multiple times that they have blatantly lied.
To make it worse, they still keep on lying even if asked or confronted when you have all the proof of that they are lying and don’t even show any guilt or make any confession. I would spill the beans if I’m asked if i do lie. But this one, still lies looking straight at your face. Crazy. Makes it even more worse when you had risked your life for them.
Was down and out for long. Cooked this today, not perfect but it’s healthy.