u/Bleachtheeyes

So I had a nap dream and I would really love to hear your thoughts about it because I kind of don't really get how it was set up. Especially, because I'm not particularily religious, maybe mildly curious about esoteric studies at best and open to the idea of god. And the other person involved, my ex, is an atheist.

I dreamt I was on a date with a man in this cavernous style restaurant, it has the shape of a cave and a bunch of decorative arc-like windows/wall cavities. The man then excuses himself for a bit and I notice my ex sitting in the table facing us so we just stare at each other because we don't really talk anymore and then I decide I will go say hi.

Immediately, she grabs me for which freaks me out because I don't want to entertain anything but is also very emotional and comfortable so I just let it happen and I'm kind of curious how life us going for her.

As she's hugging me, I am looking at one of those windows and I see this broad man in a faded black coat and pants, very boring and lowkey, just standing suspended in-there and looking at us and I just know it's Gabriel, and that only us can see him , like the body is almost translucent but not really ?

Anyway, his expression looks neutral, we maintain eye-contact , his eyes are a teal shade of green , but he doesn't say anything . It doesn't feel scary but not necessarily pleasant either. Not approving, not disapproving . Just an imposing presence inciting my curiosity.

Then she's telling me how that is Gabriel, which I already knew, and that he has been helping her in general but specifically even in manifesting this opportunity for us to meet (?) Then I wake up.

I don't usually remember my dreams but this stayed on my mind with vivid visuals of the setting and even feelings about the whole situation, I would like help understanding what this dream is trying to convey ?

I just had a visceral reaction to an email I got earlier and it just simultaneously made me remember how horrible it feels when my anxiety skyrockets but also made me realize how much my base level has improved from back when I got diagnosed with GAD. And that I still avoid small stressors until they snowball into a crisis that I can't hide from ir ignore...

In my current state, I cannot fathom how I managed to live with the feeling of my entire being buzzing with uncontrollable fear to then crashing and losing all my energy and drive and feel it so strongly in my body .

I haven't felt this way in over a year and my learned coping skills were hard to summon in the heat of the moment so I was blindsided andnI have no one in my life who can understand or help and I was hoping posting about it can help alleviate it but I still feel like I'm a wrung out rag and stuck inside my body . I tried some breathing exercise and laid down which helped a bit but everytime I try to do something it picks up pace even my distraction strategies are failing me.