Jealous of Musicians
For whatever reason, whenever I see someone else (especially around my age/in my genre) performing or singing or talking about wanting to become a musician, I feel super jealous of them. Like I feel almost afraid of them, because I have this idea in my head that if they succeed, it means I never will.
At a group vocal lesson recently, I was supposed to sing last, and I listened to everyone's songs and all I could think is "they're better than me" "I'm the worst one here" "I'm nothing compared to them" and it got so overwhelming that I couldn't get out any notes in the upper 2/3 of my range.
I find it's different depending on the person/day. If it's someone I'm friends with, sometimes I feel more okay. But if my best friend (doesn't sing) were to drop everything and tell me she was going to start singing professionally, I'd probably break down, just thinking that she's going to be better than me, I'm going to be forgotten, she's going to do it and I can't.
This is incredibly distressing, I want to build community and be friends with people who love music, but it feels like supporting others means I'll never be good myself. If I'm not better than everyone, I'm not enough. I don't know what to do, I'm in therapy and vocal lessons and everything but I guess I just don't know how to solve this. People always say that you can't compare yourself to others, and to celebrate others' achievements, but how do I do that?