Hey, I'm currently missing someone to talk to every now and again. It would be cool if it could turn into a friendship.
Shoot me a message and tell me about yourself. If you just write "hi" there's a good chance I won't respond. Sorry.
To provide some background first: I'm scared of thunder and lightning, and as an adult, I developed a bit of a fear of flying too. They were unrelated, but keep reading. I didn't travel much in my teens but I finally started around two years ago and have went on many trips around Europe since. I'm Scandinavian and have mostly traveled to Southern Europe. It's not the longest flights but there are a lot of layovers if you're a bit of a frugal gal like me. This means that all these different flights were slowly but surely desentisizeing me a bit. The feeling of turbulence wasn't great but I wasn't having a full on panic attack like in the beginning by the fourth trip back and forth. I always wear my Mjölnir on my trips. It's my little connection to home and it brings me a sense of peace to have it around my neck when I'm far away in new situations.
Now, on a flight from Sicily to Rome, we were descending like usual. One of the cabin crew members are talking over the speaker (the usual stuff) and the pilot cuts over her and tells cabin crew to immediately take their seats. We get under the clouds. It's dark. I'm sitting next to the guy responsible for the emergency exit thing. There's a loud BOOM, everything shakes, and the plane goes downward fast. I am, without a doubt in my mind, certain that I'm going to die. Even the guy next to me jumps and looks out the window. I see a lightning and hear the thunder as this is happening. I was never in any actual danger. I know that now, but the incident stuck. The plane gets under the clouds and levels again and I start weeping uncontrollably as we finally land safely.
This obviously shook me and I spoke to a pilot afterwards. The plane was hit by lightning. It happens rarely but it is a thing that can happen. Just two of my biggest fears in one. Fun right?
It opened up a lot of questions for me religion-wise. I've been Norse Pagan since I was only a young teen. I've always leaned more reconstructionist and scoffed at the idea that the gods would care for the individual. They're gods, why would they? My ancestors might care what happens to me but not them. And yet, this situation has me asking questions because it has settled in my mind as the most terrifying thing I've ever experienced, and then the nature of lightning being the source of it.
If we say that the gods do care, then why did it happen to me? Was it a punishment? Was it a test? If it was a test, I just came back from a trip across the Atlantic two weeks ago, despite me sh***ing myself for some parts of it, because I won't be held back in life by fear. Are there any sources that can point me in any direction? If not, what are your thoughts on it? I'm curious.