TW: Trauma and Abuse
Hi y'all. My full question is if anyone has had severe memory loss just to have it all come back gushing at you in a tidal wave.
I'll go first. I had a brain surgery at 8 years old, we shortly moved after I came home from the hospital. Memories were kinda fuzzy for a long while, but I remembered having a pretty good childhood. Started to battle depression late high school, even 1 hospitalization for suicide attempts. Started college and was going pretty good. One side effect I was dealing with was really bad headaches after the surgery. Every day, all day. I turned 21 and found out about the healing powers of *the plant* if you know. Started to use it every day as a coping mechanism. At the time I was on antidepressants for depression.
While I would study in my room, I had this eery feeling that something was wrong with me but I couldn't just figure it out. 1 small hospitalization later and I took a mini vacation at my cousins house 2 states over. It was at her house that everything came back to me. How my father used to yell at me, the punishments he had for me for underpreforming at school, how sad I felt those days.
For some reason, I blacked out all of those memories for 14 years and just remembered that day. It was hard day after day, was shortly put on mood stabilizers and antipsychotics for bipolar 1. Vivid flashbacks came to me every day and got worse with my mania. I have been reading "The Body Keeps the Score" and the author talks about girls who were victimized when they were little and having total memory loss of the events and even denying it ever happened. I am not sure how common this is and wanted to see if anyone else had a similar experience