Some questions from a Protestant
Hello,
I want to preface by saying I have been considering joining the Church for some time now, but there are still a few things I struggle with, and would greatly appreciate some feedback from those that also joined as former Protestants.
First of all is Marian devotion. I really do struggle with this less in principle and more in practice. I see nothing wrong with reverence, but the prominence that Mary has in the Church still gives me pause to question whether joining the Church is the right choice. It isn't that I don't recognise that Mary is the mother of God, but if I am going to spend time in devotion or prayer, it's going to be with God exclusively; not God via, God exclusively. Frankly, I simply don't understand why anyone would, in my opinion, waste time praying via an intermediary rather than going straight to God. It's almost like turning up to a repair shop with a broken clock and the clockmaker beckoning you over from the back of the store and going to the sales assistant instead... surely it's best to go to the maker who has the most intimate knowledge and ability to fulfil your needs.
My understanding of Catholicism (the only other major Church which parallels this prominence) is that Marian devotion is optional, but to join without the intention or desire to embrace it is a pretty big question mark on the application for lack of a better term.
Is this the case in Orthodoxy?
Secondly, following on from above, is praying to saints. I have a lot of respect for the early Fathers of the church and the countless brilliant men and women of faith over the history of the Church, but again it feels strange appealing to them instead of God. Sometimes it feels like at the first sign of calamity, people's first question is which saint to petition. I struggle with that because again it feels like it both distracts from and diminishes God by petitioning others despite Him telling us we have a direct line to Him. I wear a St Benedict medal because his life and work inspires me in my own faith.
I don't have issues with icons insofar as they're visual reminders of godly people who can inspire us in our own walk, but like Marian devotion, the idea of kissing icons feels very off and something which should be reserved for God.
Finally, confession. I feel less convicted about this than the above two, but I suppose the same theme really is why go through an intermediary, and, how many go to confession seeking reconciliation from the Priest without seeking it from God privately too?
Lastly, I apologise if the wording of anything above comes across at all as lacking charity. It's not my intent to stir the pot or rile anyone up, I'm just looking for answers... I'm looking for my home. Nothing comes close to what Orthodoxy offers, but years of Protestant thinking makes it difficult to reconcile with the above and I am trying to work through it.
Thank you and God bless.