25M confused whether I made the right decision leaving my first relationship with 25F despite still loving her
I (25M) was close friends with a girl (25F) for around 1.5 years before we started dating. We were long-distance friends and used to talk about everything in life including relationships, personal struggles, and future expectations. I never initially thought of dating her because I honestly felt I wasn’t the type of guy she usually wanted.
Eventually we met in person after many failed plans. Before meeting, we had started talking on long phone calls every day and I realized I had feelings for her. I confessed, and initially she said she only saw me as a friend.
When we finally met, we stayed together for a few days and became emotionally and physically close. After returning home, I asked what this meant between us, and she told me she loved me. At first I hesitated because I didn’t think we would work long-term, but eventually I agreed to the relationship.
This was my first relationship, and I genuinely loved her deeply. The relationship became intense very quickly. We talked every day for hours, but over time frequent fights started happening.
The main issue was how conflicts were handled. Whenever I missed calls, spent time with friends, or tried explaining my side during arguments, she would get extremely angry. During fights she often used abusive words and sometimes even insulted my mother. She also expected constant availability and didn’t really respect personal space.
Whenever I tried to leave because of the disrespect, she would cry, apologize, ask me to stay, and promise she would change. To be fair, I do believe she loved me genuinely in her own way and was emotionally attached to me. She also slightly improved compared to the beginning and tried to reduce the abusive behavior.
But the same cycle kept repeating.
In our 4th and 5th month we even had a physical fight during an argument, which mentally affected me a lot. Even while planning future meetings, a part of me would feel anxious thinking “what if another huge fight happens?”
After around 7 months, I finally ended the relationship because I felt emotionally exhausted and lost hope that things would truly change.
Now after the breakup she keeps reaching out saying she fully understands her mistakes, wants to respect me properly, and wants another chance. Part of me still loves her and wonders if I left too early since it was only a 7-month relationship. Another part of me feels scared the same pattern will repeat again.
Did I make the right decision by leaving? Can people genuinely change after relationships like this, or am I ignoring major red flags because I still love her?