some nights I fall asleep very soon after i have lied down, other nights I will be so tired i will be almost asleep but one single thought will branch out into all the thoughts and suddenly my sleep has disappeared
if I am in bed tired, tossing and turning for an hour or two and I realize its eating up my sleep hours I feel my heart beat racing and anxiety thinking when will I fall asleep, now im wide awake from not just the thoughts but the physical alertness n anxiety in my chest
i want to cry, i have to do some tasks that are highly time sensitive and i will be tired whole day because its 5.30am and im still awake. I took leave from work specifically for these tasks
im too upset and worried to go to sleep even tho im still tired, i have been tired but i made the mistake of scrolling on my phone and usually im so tired im still able to force myself to sleep
I know im being a baby but I need some kind words and motivation that I will fix it and I will be okay
usually when this happens i end just reading just to distract myself from the thoughts so I can tire myself again to sleep n it works so im going to read now
I really really make a point to avoid looking at the clock because if I find out how long i have been in bed unable to sleep it makes me really worried