u/Big_NO222

I have some acquaintances, a wealthy white couple, who adopted a 6-month old black baby boy about 6 years ago. Two years ago, they started telling everyone that "he" identifies as a girl and they've changed his name and now call him their daughter and the child is dressed as a girl, hair done like a girl's etc.

They've said they plan to support their "daughter" with whatever medical interventions she needs, meaning I'm sure pre-puberty hormones as well as surgery when the time comes. The child, now age 6, has developed what seems to be a severe neurological condition which they've identified as PANS, which includes near-constant panic attacks and can no longer leave their home because it's too overstimulating. I feel so sorry for this child and I believe the parents are causing more harm than good. Is there anything that can be done?

They waste so much of my time closing them and getting them out of the way :( :(

A couple weeks ago, I had a zoom call with some hosts for a month-long sit in the area I live. Everything seemed fine, so when they offered it to me, I accepted and we agreed I'd come over for an in-person meet and greet.

A few days ago, I went for the meet and greet. They actually live about 20 miles outside the town where the site is listed (red flag #1), so it took me 45 minutes to drive there. I pulled up, met the dogs, we exchanged greetings, and they let me know they had an "orientation" planned that they'd budgeted 3 HOURS for. Well, I had other plans that afternoon and told them I'd need to leave in 1 hour. They were very disappointed, but said they'd "try their best." Um ok (red flag #2.. entitlement showing!!).

So I spent a mind-numbing hour with them going through every. single. detail of their home, how to sanitize the counter after preparing the dogs' raw food, lists and lists of contacts and backups, where all the cameras were (at least 5 outside and 2 inside red flag #3), etc. Finally, I got to leave, but before I did, they asked if I could come back AGAIN before they head out in a month for a full hike with the dogs since they had to cut their originally planned orientation short.. um, no (red flag #4 just. so. entitled).

As I left, I had a bad feeling that their entitlement and anxiety would be waaay too much to deal with for a full month, not to mention they'd lied about the location and it really wouldn't work for me. I thought about it for a couple days and then I sent them a kind note that I'd enjoyed meeting them and their dogs, but that the location was too far for me, so I was going to have to cancel, which I did on the site.

No response from them, but this morning I got a note from THS saying I'm now "being monitored" for canceling. What about hosts that lie about their location, have cameras inside, and make unreasonable demands on sitters' time as if they're paying them?! They should be monitored!!!

https://preview.redd.it/ndp3000mcryg1.png?width=851&format=png&auto=webp&s=42b9dd90fdbaa08bbbc11483d721f37ebb0bc977

I've been a housesitter for two years and I absolutely love the platform and exchange opportunities it's afforded me! After my pet passed away, I suddenly felt free to go and see the world more than I'd been able to in her final years and THS has been a beautiful way to do that: I get to enjoy a (usually) comfortable home as a base to explore somwhere all while having delightful, loving pet companionship without the responsibility of having my own at the moment!

However, both here and in the facebook group, there seems to be a growing sentiment that a housesitter should be "grateful" for having a "free" place to stay and that makes me sad.. for my fellow housesitters as well as for the pets. I see people criticizing or diminishing hosts who want to offer some form of compensation or gift and don't even get me started on sitters who acknowledge such things would be meaningful or helpful to them :(

It has me thinking that a lot of people are missing the nuance and intangibles involved here. Of course no one HAS to go out of their way to make their housesitter feel welcomed and appreciated, but in the same vein, sitters don't HAVE to give love and affection and tender care to the pets. If we look at it solely as an exchange of a roof over someone's head for doing the bare minimum to keep pets alive, then those comments make sense, however being a good pet sitter is so much more than that. Please show appreciation to your sitters. If you want them to do more than the bare minimum, so should you!