u/Big_Johninator87

I made a post asking if it's possible to fix the hull cannons all pointing forwards and clipping into the vehicle, but I used my two remaining brain cells and had a brain blast that granted me the revelation of "just make the fucking barrels longer and shoot through the front of the tank so the glitch won't kill you" so now my aryan wunderwaffe Haunebu hyperborean tech tank dreams have been realized in an even worse way than I had initially planned for and I'm here to share it with you

Fiddleapanzer Industries here! Today we have an interwar tank design to show you. We call it the Wunderwaffle, since, well, it's flat like a pancake but Wunderwaffle has a better ring to it.

It's about 1.88 meters tall, a good chunk of that height coming from the lifted suspension, its actual chassis height is roughly 1.1 meters. It's about 6.73 meters long and 2.95 meters wide. Total weight of 18.54 tons, cost of 21.53k, and top speed of about 20 km/h.

Now, one of us here in the lab had a great idea: "What if we copy those swedes with their weird ass door wedge tank? The enemy shells should just slide right off at that kind of angle!" And that's exactly what we did, but much worse and we're proud!

Armed with a 60mm cannon capable of about 93mm of penetration, it can't even penetrate its own upper front plate (UFP)! That doesn't sound impressive, but what is is that even one of our latewar cannons with nearly 400mm of penetration can't penetrate its UFP! We're not sure how much the baffles contribute to this, but they're visually interesting so they get to stay.

Its front armor consists of multiple elements, the first being its chassis. The upper and mid front plates are 50mm, and the lower front plate is 70mm. Then we have the spaced armor! All of that is 25mm thick. Then on the upper front spaced plate is a bunch of 15mm thick baffles.

One additional upside is that this is one of our most visually appealing tanks yet! I actually put some effort into decorating this thing, and even making it somewhat feasible. Plus there's the complimentary art on the side, which we painted onto the bolted on add-on armor plate.

Now, you must be asking, "What about the crew? Is it more comfortable than the previous vehicle Fiddleapanzer Industries designed?" Hell no! Get the fuck outta here! What are you, an OSHA inspector? We cram our crew in there in only the most uncomfortable positions! The turret crew is curled up in the fetal position and the poor fucker in the front has to lay on a bunch of torsion bars. Just be grateful we even included hatches this time.

Fiddleapanzer Industries! We're done here.

Here at Fiddleapanzer Industries, we've been hard at work. And here's our newest creation: The Arrow! Because not only does it kind of resemble an arrowhead, you're meant to use it much like an arrow as well.

Weighing in at just 5.16 tons and costing the low low price of 8.37k, it can reach speeds of up to 130 km/h even while going over hills! It uses only the most advanced technology to make this possible, including but not limited to the following:

1. Absolutely no way of leaving once you're inside of it! Much like a Japanese kamikaze torpedo, you must be welded into it! No need for all those heavy hatches where you're going!
2. Aperture Science portal technology to let you load the eight shells you have in your lap into the cannon!
3. No gun traverse whatsoever! Here the gun works like a lance, you're meant to ram it into the target and then fire.
4. No armor (is best armor)! You are well and truly fucked if anything manages to get a hit on you, especially since you're resting against the engine. Which leads me to the next feature...
5. No safety at all! That loud, hot, rattling V12 engine is right up against your back! We also haven't included a seat either, those weigh too much. So should anything go wrong you're stuck in there with that thing as it rips itself to pieces and burns you with scalding hot motor oil, while the fuel leaks right onto your clothes to light you on fire!

It's our belief that you're such a stupid motherfucker that you'll buy this bullshit! This sale ends the minute after you write us a check, and it better not bounce or you're a dead motherfucker!

Fiddleapanzer Industries: Home of the dumbest sonsabitches on this part of the internet, guaranteed!

PS: The last image is footage of this abomination's construction

Germany should've made 271,000 gorillion of these and they would've won!!111!!1!1

Anyway, it's about 11 meters long, 5.7 meters wide, 4.7 meters tall (I measured those lengths with a cannon barrel so it's not 100% accurate), weighs 276.86 tons, and costs 192.81k. Honestly I'm surprised the thing can move at all with how heavy it is, it can maintain 20 km/h pretty well and turns quicker than it really has any right to. It also burns through like a liter of fuel per second cuS IF UCKIGNI LOVE POLLUTION YEAAAAHHHH

One of the neat features is the secondary 75mm that has the exact same muzzle velocity as the main 150mm. It's actually really useful for ranging shots.

It also looks really plain cus I didn't put too much effort into it, I just wanted to make something big for shits and giggles