I’m contemplating on leaving my best friend but I’m scared I’ll feel guilty and that I’ll be a horrible person.
Some time after my holiday august last year, it was the start to my distance with my best friend. I just thought he was busy at first, I fully trusted him for a few months. He was only replying on some days and he used to send me messages everyday. I see him online everyday. Days went to a week of not replying.
Then in Nov his father passed. He was never close to him, actually he was estranged. His father was abusive, but he went through a range of emotions and was still shocked. He only told me at the time supposedly but this is when he truly started to ghost me for A LONG period.
I get it, it was understandable and I let him do that for a while. He ghosts for one month periods but recently it’s two months.
However to be honest, before the passing I had noticed he’s been ignoring me and spending time with others. Admittedly I wondered in this time period (as it’s been a long time of silence and NO explanation), if he was doing the same. He was, even during the grief.
I let it slide, thinking maybe he wanted someone who didn’t know of his trauma to be around. But now it’s just been too long of a drag
This week he messaged me and I replied and I was actually excited again, I was happy to hear from him and asked if we could talk again. He never replied again. It turned me off entirely this time and I kind of don’t want to engage anymore.
The way he disappears is just like this. I say something and he just goes. What am I doing here? I feel like I’m being taken for a ride.
So many people told me to give it a chance. UNTIL WHEN do I STOP? UNTIL WHEN do I have boundaries for myself? Are we going to let it run for years? I’ve been sitting here ready for him to appear even if it’s for my support, a distraction, or just to talk and have fun like we used to. I don’t get why other people can hang out with him but he refuses to talk to his best friend??? I’ve tried my best to support on the sidelines too and ignore the fact that I’m getting clearly blanked. It would be a different case if he went into mourning and ignored a bunch of people. The first few months of this was acceptable but imo I feel like he’s just given up on knowing me. I don’t think I really deserve this.
Should I just leave?