u/Bfinnera

I’m getting better at it, but still failing occasionally. I sent her a voice message tonight and she responded with one. It didn’t give me the thrill it used to. I felt shame and regret.

Any time I initiate contact, I hope for an intimate exchange, but it’s almost always clearly platonic. I tell myself I’m reaching out to keep the “friendship” going. I have no interest in friendship.

Besides her incredible looks, my LO doesn’t have many qualities that I find attractive. I’ve become more aware of the fact that it wouldn’t work even if she was interested. Nonetheless I fuck up every once in a while and break no contact.