Hey. Just want to vent about having to move house with a newborn, and how I am dreading everything. Sorry, this will be long.
Husband has had a lot of issues working in a toxic job, and because of this has been desperate to get out of the whole region we live in. This is due to the interconnected nature of the job, which he believes will affect all other possible roles in the area and therefore wants to move hours away. Also, he now has the opportunity to transfer into something specialist where roles rarely come up and none are in our area. He says if he has to stay even 6 more months here he will have a breakdown.
Husband has found a new job (12 month contract) starting 2 days before my due date- in an area hours away from our current house. However, I will be having an elected c section, so I’ll probably have the baby 1-2 weeks before the due date. The job start date is non negotiable, it is a country wide thing.
This new job is in the city my in-laws live in. The plan is they move out into another one of their properties and we stay in their house, as we will need to sell our house and won’t be able to afford rent plus current mortgage etc until it sells. We also can’t buy anywhere during his 12 month contract in case there is no permanent position at the end of it. It is kind of them to offer their house and we are very privileged for it. But MIL is very overbearing and forever causing drama, and I am worried they will find reasons to come stay all the time- it is their house after all. I won’t have any money to join any baby groups or anything so I won’t know anyone there. We will probably be living there until next spring at the very earliest, but more likely a year with having to find a permanent role after this contract and buying a house.
The in-laws live in a town house- there will be loads of stairs which will be a struggle for me. Not to mention just the general discomfort of living out a suitcase in someone else’s house. It is also extremely impractical and stressful- the carpet stains if you get any water on it (have to be very careful taking shoes off at the front door after rain), the kitchen counter tops will get permanent marks if anything warm is placed there without a coaster. What if I bleed all over their mattress?! It has no garden, so I will have to get dressed, get the dog on a leash, and take newborn outside every time the dog needs a pee. My house has a garden where I can just leave the door open for the dog, and only one flight of stairs to fight post c section. Their solution was to give my dog to the in laws for a few weeks!!
I want to give birth here and stay in my own home for a few weeks even though my husband will have to leave for the new job after 2 weeks paternity leave. They are obviously trying to pressure me to do it in the new region. I just can’t imagine being freshly post partum and stitched up and the stress of going back to someone else’s house, without my support system.
I am just so sad and dreading having my baby now. I love my house, I love our area, I have my mum close by to help me here. I want to be comfortable recovering in my own house, not someone else’s far away from my support system. My baby won’t even have a nursery, I see all these beautiful ones online and my poor baby just has everything in boxes. I am trying to enjoy the last three months of my pregnancy, because I know I will have such a miserable postpartum, but I am struggling to feel any sort of excitement for the future.
Has anyone had a similar experience and found they were actually able to cope much better than they thought- dare I say even come to enjoy it??