“Hi, I’ve been married about a year (Mid 20s F). My husband (same age M) struggles with some addictions. The first one is weed. He smokes daily and has a device with him at all times. At this point I am unable to tell when he is high and when he is sober. I’m not sure he is ever completely sober. He rarely drinks but when he does, he tries to normalize crazy behavior by saying that him drinking is a rare and special occasion.
In the one year we’ve been married, he went out with his friends and got extremely drunk, ended up fighting someone and breaking his hand. He had to get surgery. I was pretty shaken up by this because I’ve never been around someone like this or ended up in ER for this reason. I got the call in the middle of the night and had to rush to the emergency room. I made it very clear how this negatively impacted me and my perception of him and his friends.
Six months later, he goes out with the same friend group. I was extremely nervous about this and tried to communicate this to him but of course he still went. Once again, he got extremely drunk and now he said he “pulled his shoulder” while opening the door of his uber. He came home in the morning hours crying of pain and once again we had to rush to the ER.I don’t trust him anymore and I also don’t trust his friends.
Is there anything I can do at this point or are his actions speaking louder than his words? He is trying to justify his actions by saying this could’ve happened to anyone. For some reason, I have trouble believing someone can end up in the emergency room after pulling open a car door. (Everything was fine with the car).
When I met him he said all of these issues such as heavy drinking , going out and smoking were a huge part of his life and he had to stop all those bad habits. During our dating period I saw this to be true but as time went on he started doing all those things again, slowly but surely.”