u/Best_Army_6296

These types of posts would have likely made me cringe but I wanted to express it somewhere relatable. I feel like I want to give up on my healing. I’m becoming more aware of what the price is for my self to return to alignment and although I can imagine that it would make me feel better, I’m not very confident that I would be willing to pay it.

I have to keep digging into my scarce reservoir for energy and it’s just too much. I thought I was doing myself a favor by overcoming my inflation, but now I’m starting to miss it. It made me feel powerful and it gave me a lot of confidence.

Sorry to be posting this twice but I really need help and a different reframe may be healthier.

Im a 28 year old man and I’m burned out from my job and emotionally exhausted. I currently don’t have much support but I can hire a therapist.

I can’t work the same job anymore and my option is to move back in with my mother for a bit. I carry a lot of grief and shame and I realize that my choices, although dysfunctional and desperate, have led me here where I am now.

I have the option of moving back in with my mother and live in the guest house next door. I have a debt with my parents and i owe financials amends. I’ll admit that I could have taken actions sooner but I didn’t feel courageous or safe enough to do so.

My mother has been trying to fix me to avoid her own pain so it will be triggering living with her but I don’t see another valid option right now. I think it could improve my self esteem to clear the debts or at least pay them off significantly.

I really need some tough love right now and I’ve been disowning my own power for quite a while and it’s hard to trust my self. I know I need to make a sacrifice but with my current level of awareness it’s hard to know what to do.

What would you do if you were in my place? I know some of you may be able to relate.

I feel like I’m in such a hell right now and I know it’s partly self imposed. I’m a 28 male and I’m on the verge of breaking down emotionally and I’m too burned out to work. I have the option of living with my mother and getting a job in her area to save money but I can tell if I go through with his grieving, she’ll get triggered and likely will try to fix me to avoid her own grief.

Maybe this is my karma for having put off ownership for so long and maybe I can humble myself to realize that things aren’t why they would ideally be. This is such a horrific place to be. Until I face at least a certain chunk of my shame and grief I’ll be essentially crippled. I don’t

have the means to find support or relocate right now.

I know I’m quite lucky in many ways and maybe that will help me to understand that I could have helped myself sooner. If you can relate, please share what helped you. I know this is temporary.

I think it may help for me to realize that many people

have it much worse than me.

This is such a hard shadow to have to deal with. To outgrow the helpless child identity. Whenever I start to do very hard things, the inner child in me can take over and start to have a panic attack.

I’ve been internalizing the voice of my father who was too frightened to push past his comfort zone and I have been blaming him for that. I know there is a capable adult in me, but hes hidden in the shadow and he needs to come out.

What helped you to overcome this? Just by repeatedly pushing past it? It’s such overwhelming. It’s so hard and I think I just need to sit with the fear or figure out where it came from. It happened on multiple occasions over my life and I’m 28 now.