Gentlemen,
I’m writing this as a man currently in the Masonic wilderness. For over seven years, I was a very active Mason in the Grand Lodge of Wisconsin F&AM. I sat in the East of my mother lodge, served as WM of the state research lodge, contributed to the research lodge’s annual publications, advanced through the local York Rite Chapter, Council, and Scottish Rite Valley, joined a third blue lodge as a plural member, and was invited to help establish a new lodge in Illinois. I loved the Craft, or at least I loved the idea of it as I understood it at the time.
In 2019, I was expelled. Not for committing a crime, but for using a foolish choice of words on social media.
The context was raw: the extrajudicial killing of Sylville Smith, coincidentally the brother of a personal friend and Lodge brother. In the aftermath of the unrelated killing of an MPD officer in a no-knock raid, I saw a stranger online mocking the killings of Smith, Philando Castile, and others with racist, bloodthirsty vitriol. To me, it was like a hateful attack on my family. In my zeal for justice, I chose a sword when I should have used a trowel. I responded to the stranger by inverting his own words with sarcasm and satire, but the result was way over the top, disgusting in execution, and embarrassing in hindsight. It was a gross failure of Temperance and Prudence. Wisconsin’s Grand Master at the time, a retired police officer, personally filed the charges. I was out.
At the time, I felt jaded, cynical, and surrounded by hypocrisy. I had spent my years in the fraternity trying to preach Masonic principles back at brothers who I felt were ignoring them. I presumed myself to take on the role of a scolding teacher, trying so hard to correct the faults of others that I completely neglected to work on my own. I even framed my expulsion letter as a time capsule of the moment I left that hypocrisy behind.
But the wilderness has a way of clearing one’s vision.
Seven years later, the nihilism has faded, replaced by a realization: I didn’t lose my faith in Masonry; I lost my way in the practice of it. I’ve realized that the work isn’t about calling out bigots; it’s about subduing my own passions.
I am now living in Indiana, and I have decided to attempt petitioning the Grand Lodge of Wisconsin for restoration in 2027. My goal isn’t to return to my old lodges, but to receive a demit in good standing so that I may petition for affiliation with the Most Worshipful Prince Hall Grand Lodge of Indiana.
I’ve realized that my heart has always aligned with the Prince Hall legacy, born of struggle, dignity, and a demand for universal social justice and equality. I want to join, not to lead, but to return to the Northeast Corner as a student, to learn rare integrity and fortitude most grand from men who’ve had to master it under much harsher social scrutiny than I have ever known.
I’m ready to set down the millstone of my past failures, to throw out that framed expulsion letter, to replace it with a demit, and to be a workman again.
I’d value any advice from Brothers who have navigated the restoration process, or from Prince Hall Brothers who have welcomed state grand lodge affiliates into their ranks.
Humbly and Fraternally yours,
T. R.