u/BelledeJour71

Hello I am in England

Separated 7 years now and I have continued to live in the home with our 3 children (now young adults). Two are currently working overseas so not living at home. 19 year old still with me and has just finished college.

New partner of 5 years owns his own home in a different area, a friend lives there at the moment and pays 'mates rates' rent. Partner lives most of the time at my house, returning now and then to his own town for work and staying at his house. New partner and I wish to buy my soon-to-be ex-husband out of my house as we both like the town we live in (I have lived here for 20 years).

I know the answer to my question legally but thought I would ask the experts, anyway for any advise. 15 years ago, my parents passed away and I sold their house and used £120k to pay off our mortgage. The house has now been valued at £400k. Ex said when he left that he would never take any of my inheritance (I did ask him at the time to put this in writing but he never did). His mum also gave us £20k to have a bathroom refitted. Ex has suggested a split of 55 (me)/ 45 (him). So my partner and I would need to mortgage around £200k.

Things are amicable with my ex and I wish to keep it that way. I don't want to squabble over money and I don't want to start involving costly solicitors, I'm not greedy and I just want to start a new, happy life with my partner. But I feel a little uneasy about how hard my parents worked and whether I should go back and suggest a different split of the house.

Legally, I understand that it was my choice to put that money into the house and our marriage and I don't regret it, I did what I thought was the right thing to do at the time.

Any advise welcome. Thank you for reading.

Hi

I have a follow up dermatology appointment coming up and want to be prepared.

Backgound: Insane itching since last January. Tried to manage myself (history of eczema but nothing like this itch) with topical steroids, thinking it could be relate to menopause or something. Finally, it became so bad, my skin was red raw all over and I was in too much pain to go to work that day. I saw a GP and then another 2 in the following months October - December. Over Christmas I was given Prednisolone and in January I had my initial dermatology appointment. No-one was interested in trying to find the root cause. I said that I knew this was not eczema and I knew there was a root cause. I was diagnosed with a thyroid condition in my 20's and asked if this could be linked to this itching and was told no. Derm took bloods but did not test for Celiac.

Anyway... I then became very unwell and has no energy at all, started noticing little bumps on my skin (feet, back of calves, sides of thighs, elbows, lower back) so increased my vitamin intake and decided to start experimenting with diet - 24 hours after not consuming gluten and the itching was 90% better.

I am 2 months in to my new GF life now. I seem to also react to oats (including GF oats) and cows milk so have also cut them out of diet.

I have days where I don't itch and it's just amazing. But I still do itch most days - and always in the evening. I am using a new pan I bought to prepare my food at home. I am very careful with my diet and trying not to avoid food through fear (though I do feel anxious at times) as I am conscious that I need to eat (I walk a lot every day so burn a lot of calories that way).

I just can't seem to shift that last 10%. The itching is definitely less intense but it is still wearing me down so much. My life is affected in that I just can't relax. I can't sit on the sofa in the evening and watch TV, have slept alone for 18 months now because I would just annoy my partner with my itching. I can't get to sleep at night before about 3am.

I know that Dapsone comes with risks but was it worth it for you? Are there less risky alternatives? Did it stop the itching immediately? I have no intention of ever consuming gluten again, anyway and am committed to my new GF life. I am in the UK.

Thank you for reading.

I know it might be tricky as they are wearing cloaks!

Intriguing image beleived by some to be of the Brontë sisters.

The hat is apparently called a 'Jenny Lind'.

The photograph might have been a copy from an 1840's daguerreotype which was one of the earliest photographic processes.

I appreciate that it might be tricky to pin the fashion down to a decade because of the cloaks! But an expert eye may notice other hints that could help date it.

https://preview.redd.it/likxb7bo65yg1.png?width=400&format=png&auto=webp&s=9c55321eb19e62356638ea7e05b14d24ef92d323

UPDATE: I think it was the tuna. It's high in iodine, apparently,

Hi it's me and my DH again (sorry).

After writing a post a few days ago to say the itching had stopped, it reappeared with a vengeance last night on my legs (knees are now red raw). I just can't work out what could have set it off yesterday. I ate nothing that I hadn't previously eaten and was OK with since going GF 8 weeks ago. This is what I ate yesterday:

Gluten and dairy free cereal with almond milk

Hummus with GF pitta, carrot and celery sticks

Tomatoes

Lettuce

Tinned tuna

Boiled potatoes

Salad cream

Each time I feel that I have made a few days progress, it then feels like a massive step back. I have had 18 months of continued itching and topical steroid creams that it's just making it so hard to heal, I guess. I have just ordered some more steroid cream because I am in so much pain now.

I have also noticed a lot of nerve sensations recently, they are like sharp, shooting pains all around my body, torso and legs. I also have a nerve that is pressing on a lymph node at the back of my armpit, it settles down when my skin is better but then start niggling again after I have scratched.

I have a follow up dermatology appointment in May and whilst I was going to go in and say that I am happy to continue trying to heal with my new diet, I am now so over this. I just long for a normal life and not to be thinking about my skin constantly and how sore it is every day of my life. I can't look at it and wear sunglasses as much as I can. I can't sit in a comfy chair and watch TV anymore. I can't relax, in other words, I suppose. I am tense all the time and my skin hurts all the time, it's so sore. It's really starting to get me down, now. I wake at 3am most mornings and cannot get back to sleep.

So I am now wondering if I should ask about Dapsone or other alternatives?

Backstory: I saw 3 GP's and a dermatologist last year when this itching just wouldn't go away and I started to realise that it was not eczema. Not one of them made any attempt to diagnose the cause of the horrendous itching. I worked it out for myself. Eliminating gluten improved things by 90% within 24 hours. I have since noticed that oats (including GF oats) trigger me as does cows milk so all of those things are strictly no-go for me now. GF now for 8 weeks, have also since eliminated cows milk and oats (incl. GF oats).

Any advice welcome. Thank you for reading.