u/Beginning_Remove_693

Transcribed to comply with sub rules because OOP used photos of real couples and TV characters as slide backgrounds. Text content remains unedited.

You can seek out thin partners if you want, but FAs don’t just have preferences, they call every thin person who doesn’t want to date them a racist pedophile. Wanting a thin partner doesn’t entitle anybody to one. It’s a part of life that the people you want to date might not want to date you, especially if you’re leading a lifestyle that is so different from theirs. I don’t think thin, active women are falling all over themselves for the opportunity to date fat men. In fact, society can be pretty cruel towards fat men as well. It’s sad that anyone feels the need to intertwine their identity with being the funny fat person when being too overweight literally kills you faster.

But we should really differentiate between cruelty and normal romantic rejection.

Someone rejecting a fat person because they’re just not physically attracted to them and they have incompatible lifestyles is not the same as mocking them for how they look. Men who expect women to look past physical attraction and date them simply because they want it are just creepy incels who nobody likes. You don’t even have to be fat to be an incel.

This post reeks of insecurity and obsession with others’ bodies. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a larger man with a thin wife or a conventionally less attractive man with a conventionally hot wife and thought that it elevated his social status in the way OOP seems to think. Have they considered that he’s probably nice to her and she likes being around him? FAs are constantly operating from an attitude of entitlement and learned helplessness, and they’re not very nice.

Context: Repost of a video where thin man attempts to debunk the fatphobic claim that weight and diet are linked by showing himself eating and grocery shopping for unhealthy food (sugar, fast food, no fruit or vegetables), and saying nobody says anything to him about his unhealthy habits because he’s a thin man, but they would comment if he was larger or a woman. Video was mostly just anti-commenting on other people’s diets and weights because it’s none of your business. Nothing too unhinged, but it isn’t proof that it’s genetics. The OOP probably just doesn’t eat portions that exceed what he burns off.

Obviously, yes, some thin people don’t eat a healthy, well-rounded diet. It’s still bad for you even if you’re thin. Quantity matters for weight management, quality matters for nutrition. Where I disagree with the “it’s none of your business” argument is when someone is actively spreading scientific misinformation, or posting on public social media.

It’s not worth arguing with people determined to be in denial about their weight, but the unpleasant truth is if you aren’t losing weight, you’re not in a calorie deficit. Even the people claiming to track every morsel! If they are weighing and logging, I think it’s more likely that they are eating less than they need/want, feeling deprived, and it’s leading to cheating that they can’t admit to. I myself have had plenty of “oh, fuck, I overdid it and I’m not even going to bother to count that, guess I’ll just start over now” moments.

I also notice that FAs like to blatantly contradict themselves! If someone is saying “I only ate on the weekends—well, actually, I had the occasional smoothie and very bare minimum food during the week,” then I don’t trust that they’re a reliable narrator about anything regarding food. “People naturally come in different sizes, but when I changed my diet, my body changed.”

Title of this post comes from one of the strangest replies here. OOP is seemingly claiming that diet has no health impact if you’re naturally skinny? Is “my bloodwork is fine” really the metric by which we’ve determined that an all-junk diet is healthy and doesn’t have long-term consequences? The cherry on top is she’s claiming to be 100lbs at 5’5, which is severely underweight. Anyone can be “healthy” in that they have no current ailments. Plenty of overweight people meet this definition of health. That’s not the same as living a healthy lifestyle. And fat people who eat their vegetables are not living a healthy lifestyle just because they eat the right things if they eat too much food and don’t work out enough and have excess adipose tissue.

Someone who isn’t gaining weight on a legitimate calorie surplus should see their doctor since they might not be absorbing their food. But I doubt anyone is gaining weight without a surplus. You can have a lower TDEE due to illness, you can’t create mass and energy from thin air.

A person would have to be very, *very* short, lightweight, and sedentary to gain weight on an accurately-measured 500 to 1000 calories a day, and would stop gaining weight once their TDEE hit 1000 calories a day. I find it hard to believe that medication notorious for increasing appetite reduced the TDEE of a person who can be in a *deficit* at ~2000 calories a day to under 500 calories, and reduced calories out was the *only* cause of weight gain.

Congratulations to OOP for being on a weight loss journey now, but they’re lying to themselves about how they got to that weight.

Hopefully not against sub rules to leave OOP’s citations in since they’re mostly from the 1900s and no one can harass dead scientists for this post. I don’t know if the 2400 figure is really the average, but I doubt it’s athletic high TDEE women driving up the numbers if true.

And wasn’t the Minnesota Starvation Experiment done on highly active men with ~3000 calorie TDEEs from doing constant manual labor?

Who is telling all women to eat 1200 calories to lose weight? It’s just the bare minimum calories for the average woman who is short, that doesn’t have to mean it’s safe or enjoyable for everyone. I hate doing 1200/day, so I just don’t do that.