u/Beercan_09

Can help with groudon or kyurem

Can help with groudon, or kyurem

I got kyurem and kapu-kime

My ex girlfriend (F22) broke up with me (M24) two weeks ago after 1.5 years together. She was my first real relationship and honestly my first true love. I truly believed she was the person I would build a future with.

At the beginning, we connected deeply. We talked for hours, laughed together, shared personal problems, and emotionally understood each other really well. Early in the relationship I explained that I had debts I needed to pay off first so I could eventually build a stable life with someone. She agreed and supported that idea at the time.

While working and trying to fix my financial situation, I also escaped a lot into gaming, anime, and smoking weed. I know now that I emotionally neglected her sometimes without meaning to. She felt like I didn’t put enough energy into the relationship.

The complicated part is that I never felt like weed changed who I was. I was already smoking when we met, and she knew that. For me it mostly helped calm my thoughts and stress. But over time she started saying I wasn’t the same person anymore, even though I personally felt like I was still myself.

Our personalities were also very different. She needed structure, plans, control, and things done in a specific way. I’m much more laid back and spontaneous. Over time that difference became exhausting for both of us.

I also want to say that I really did try in my own way, even if it wasn’t always enough for her emotionally. I texted and called her every day, bought her gifts even when I honestly couldn’t afford them, tried to support her mentally when she was struggling, and appreciated everything she did for me deeply. Sometimes I also did things quietly in the background that she maybe didn’t notice because she preferred doing them herself.

I never wanted her to feel unloved or unappreciated. That honestly hurts the most, because in my head I loved her constantly, even if I often failed to express it in the exact way she needed.

She did many loving things for me that nobody else ever had, and I truly appreciated her for that. But sometimes I also felt overwhelmed because many things she did for me came with emotional pressure afterward. She often reminded me of everything she was doing for me, and because of issues from my childhood and parents, I struggle badly with expectation pressure. The more pressure I felt, the more emotionally shut down I became.

I know I made mistakes too. I didn’t take her out enough, didn’t always give enough emotional reassurance, and I could have done more small things like walks, picnics, or quality time even without money. I was often stressed, frustrated, mentally exhausted, and probably difficult to be around sometimes.

We also had communication problems constantly. She always wanted complete honesty from me, but whenever I tried to explain certain feelings or perspectives honestly, I often felt misunderstood or told I was imagining things. Eventually I became anxious every time serious conversations started because I already expected conflict.

Sometimes arguments escalated badly. When she got overwhelmed or disappointed, she would scream at me or lightly hit me. Later she admitted she hated acting that way, but it still hurt me emotionally. At the same time, I also complained too much about my own life, my bad environment, lack of friends, and stress. I know that drained her too.

One situation especially broke us. I temporarily moved into her small apartment after problems with my family, even though I originally didn’t feel comfortable doing it. She tried to make me feel welcome, and I worked overtime during my first week there to earn extra money and reduce my debts faster. She told me to relax and said she would handle things at home that week.

The second week things became tense again. She tolerated me smoking in the kitchen even though she hated it. She told me “if you live here, it’s your apartment too,” but honestly it never fully felt that way to me. One day after she got upsetting financial news, I immediately felt anxious because I knew another conflict was probably coming.

She told me I couldn’t smoke in the kitchen anymore. I agreed and said I’d just smoke somewhere else, but emotionally I shut down because I already felt overwhelmed and misunderstood. I slept on the couch that night because I didn’t want another emotional fight where both of us ended up crying and feeling unheard.

The next morning she asked if everything was okay, but I couldn’t answer because I felt like everything was about to explode emotionally. Then she packed my things and kicked me out of the apartment. That completely broke something inside me, and for me that was the moment the relationship truly ended.

The confusing part is that despite all of this, I still love her and part of me still wants another chance. I keep wondering if things could have worked if I had changed more, stopped smoking completely, communicated better, or handled stress differently.

She described me as emotionally distant, cynical, and unmotivated. I felt like I was trying harder than ever in my life already just by surviving mentally, working, and trying to fix my financial situation. It never felt like enough.

I honestly believe neither of us were evil people. I think we were two damaged, overwhelmed people who loved each other deeply but constantly failed to truly understand each other’s emotional needs.

So I guess my question is:
Can relationships like this actually be fixed with enough maturity and change, or does love sometimes just not overcome incompatibility and emotional damage?

I lost the love of my life bec of my own failures and wanted to write it down how to handle this i hope this is the right place, so we were together for 1 and half year the relationship was a little stressful bec we are both hard headed and with own problems i got like many health issues and problems with dept and such and she was unhappy bec of family drama , besides that i thought we could still handle everything bec she was the first who accepted me with my problems i thought that but we were always fighting over small things i know that now after the break it was not small things i understand it very well, after the first break up we talked and came back together we promised we wont do the same mistakes but you cant control such things in short time , i know it was very hard to give in for both us when we were arguing such things but i tried to deescalate it but no chance i was always honest what i talked and what i felt , but i will not only say she was difficult i was it also she was very careful for me bec of my diffcult life and i couldnt sometimes simple tasks i was very garteful, but also she threw at me what she has all done for me i dont did that once except she asked for it, we couldnt do all the things what i wanted and she also like watching together the same series or playing the same games , last week i was fooled by a friend and a customer and i was angry about i wanted to talk with her she was like why are so negativ , we moved together bec of a problem from me where i wanted to help someone cant say who , and i moved to her place and she tried to make it comfortable for

Me but i wasnt , living with 2 cats in a small Apartment i cant chill down no matter what she tries i wasnt comfortable bec of her it was just not enough space , i tried to live under her rules i couldnt do all the tasks and she was dissapointed in me , i can understand that i tried but if someone except from me too much i cant do it i have issues with bec of my own problems it was not bec i am lazy or something or i dont wanted do it, anyway after convo about the fooled friend she gets a message where she gets upset and waited for me to comfort her but everytime she gets upset she gets very angry and aggressiv and let that out at me i was trying to be passient and everything but she never get comforted with how i tried to help her , after that night she was upset and moody i knew it bec everytime she gets uppset i am the first who gets that , so i tried to avoid that also she make the rule that i am allowed to smoke in the kitchen that was my only safe place for in the small Apartment but she was so angry that she said now you need to do it downstairs and i was like okay i will go to my place to smoke we didnt talked slept and in the next Morning she asks me is everything good and i couldnt answer bec i knew i will lose this conversation no matter what i say or how fair should be , she kicked me out i just wanted to relax at my own Apartment thats it but she sees it completly diff, she break up with i feel so hollow and nothing , i just want her back no matter how much fighted or screamed at each other bec i knew and understand it why , know she doesnt want to ride back or solve this she just wants to close this chapter , but i still think she loves i have this feeling bec of the way she looked at me , i understand why she writet she did not the respect or the things she excepted for i would try to change this things but her friends and she wont give me another chance i dont know what to do it , i just want her back and live a happy love with her no matter how long or hardships it takes ,

Sorry for the bad grammar english is my third language