Things you hear and what they actually mean
Some yard duties = all the yard duties, plus my friends yard duties.
Responds well to treats = will bite you
Oh she's a tricky pony = will make you cry regularly
I just want the best for him = get that animal away from me
It's not expensive = expect to remorgage
He's never done that before = regularly does that, at least daily, the most predictable thing about him.
Bombproof, mother's dream, can put a baby on him = psychopath, Dahmer in equine form.
Sometimes nips = invest in Arnica shares, keep away from children.
He's a special horse who just needs to get to know you = it's me, I'm the problem
Oh I hate gossip = I'm the main gossip, call me the Sun newspaper.
Looking for a sharer (financial contributions) who can really bond with my horse = pay me to fix my horse but expect me to reverse any and all progress you make
Special horse, sadly up for LWVTB only 5* very experienced homes = you'll pay for my horse for 6 months and if you fix him I'll decide not to sell
Reduced to sell = invest the rest on good insurance
Only selling as children have lost interest = only selling as this pony has given me children lifelong PTSD
The horse world is so toxic = literal nuclear waste in a schoffel
I don't know = I know, but I'm not telling you
Do you mind if I borrow your *insert tack/rug/feed etc = I've been using it since you got here, this is just the first time I've asked
Any more for any more?