I feel guilty for how I acted, but also deeply unsupported
TL;DR: Husband left saying I treated him badly and wants a break before deciding if he’ll come back. I felt overwhelmed handling most responsibilities while also dealing with lupus, a low libido and I feel nobody is gonna love me. Now I’m questioning whether I was truly the problem or just emotionally burned ou
I’m 34/F and my husband is 36/M. We’ve been together for 6 years and have a 1.5-year-old daughter. A few weeks ago he left saying he needs a break because I “don’t treat him well.” He said by the end of June he’ll decide if he wants to come back.
I honestly don’t know what to think anymore because he makes me feel like I ruined the marriage, but part of me feels angry and exhausted.
When I met him, he was living with his parents and I ignored a lot of things because I loved him. After we moved in together, I started feeling like I was carrying most of the responsibilities. I work, take care of the baby, and handle most things around the house. I constantly had to remind him to do simple things like taking out the trash, helping with laundry, or yard work. He would often come home, sleep for hours, and then wake up late at night.
After our daughter was born, I started feeling resentful because I felt unsupported. He says I became too frustrated, emotionally reactive, and raised my voice too much. Maybe I did. But I also felt overwhelmed all the time.
There were also trust issues because of things I found online and on his phone that hurt me deeply.
I have lupus, and because of it my libido is very low. One of my biggest fears is ending up alone because I’m not very se x sua lly active.
Now he’s staying at his parents’ house while I’m here questioning everything and blaming myself. I don’t know if stress and resentment changed me as a person, or if I was reacting to years of feeling emotionally unsupported.