u/Beautiful-Finding264

my plan is to lose 20-25kg by the end of this year, im 82kg rn and my gw is 55- 52kg but i keep stopping and binging, also theres just no motivation at all and my biggeat fear is that even if i reach my goal weight then i wont be skinny, and im afraid that yes even if i will be skinny then people will still bully me and all the work was for nothing. Also one of the main things is that if i lose the weight and ill be skinny im afraid that i wont be VERY skinny which is my goal. honestly i just need some advice because i have 0 motivation to do anything and i keep binging

i seriously need some advice because i dont know what to do anymore, heres my problem: ive been trying to lose weight and trying to eat less and im 82 kg female. im overweight but as soon as i start trying to lose the weight and skip meals/ eat less my (overweight) parents notice and start blaming me for “starving” myself and no im not starving myself, in my family my mom for example, she thinks that eating super large portions of food is normal and shes overweight herself but last week she called herself skinny (NOT true). shes basically delusional and thinks that its normal. and anyone skinny that she sees she basically just starts shaming them and telling me that they are sick and they are just some skinny bimbos who dont care about anything. my dad is also VERY overweight (130kg) and blames me for starving myself even tho i eat fine. they always start talking about ed and it really makes me uncomfortable because im not undereating. they also bring me and my siblings a lot of unhealthy food and i cant lose weight, honestly i just dont know what to do and i need advice..

thanks for reading, i know its long