Admitting I have an ADHD stimulant addiction after blowing through a bottle in five days.
I've been prescribed some form of ADHD stimulant medication since I was 18, now 36. Up until about a year ago, I did not have a problem with it. I would run out early often, but I work in a demanding field and I would have not made it this far without doubling up some days. That's an excuse for sure.
Anyway, about a year ago, things changed. I don't know what happened, but all of a sudden, the meds just don't hit the same any more. I change from Vyvanse back to Adderall a lot, and they just don't work like they used to AND now I feel like trash when they wear off. So I started doubling up more often, which was fine, because some days I don't want to be on it, anyway.
Anyway, I just blew through a whole bottle of 50mg Vyvanse in 5 days. It went from being "wow I should really stop doubling up so often" to 300mg a day after promising myself I wouldn't do that this time.
I'm very ashamed of myself right now and don't really know what to do about it besides quitting. Do I tell my prescribing doctor I'm addicted to it and don't want to be able to get either of those pills from a doctor again? Or will that somehow show up in a way that employers can see?
I don't think I need to go to rehab or anything. The thing about these two meds for me is once I run out, I just feel tired for two days and then I'm normal again. And then I'm always like, "I'm never doing that again" and then do, and it's even worse the next time. I just kept taking them and didn't even think about it, it was scary this time for the first time.
Sorry this was rambly, I am very tired. I just wanted to force myself to make this post this time instead of talking myself out of it. I guess the TL;Dr of this is basically: I recognize I have a problem with these meds now, what should I be doing to ensure I never do this again? Also happy to answer questions.