*rant*
Hi everyone, i’ve recently started to notice my will to live diminish. i have a 6 month old and an almost 3 year old. im a sahm but i pick up shifts sometimes when their dad is off or when he gets home and i have a couple hours. Their dad works overnights (he was supposed to go on day shift after our youngest was born but has now refused to do so) Im home alone with the girls all day, 4 days a week day and night. I’ve noticed ive started to become very irritable at the smallest things. I cook, i clean, i do laundry, i do the baths, bedtime, everything.
my 6 month old is ebf, she takes a bottle when i work but other than that she is stuck to me 24/7. i literally can not put her down without her crying or whining. i’ve tried a bouncer, the walker, a playpen and even just the floor. she cries every single time. on the other hand i’m trying to potty train my older girl, and have been trying since before my baby was born. it seems like she gets it for a few days and then completely disregards it. i’m on her 24/7, i put diapers only at night and she wears underwear all day. she even has a tiny toilet and nothing is working. i genuinely feel like a failure in every aspect. i don’t have enough time to eat, not even enough time to shower and i don’t ever get a break unless it’s working. i’m genuinely miserable.
their dad and i have no sort of connection at the moment because we have no privacy and im just on edge 24/7. i kind of resent the fact that he gets to leave us to go to work and im stuck here. idk what to do, it’s like everything changed for me and his life just continued to be the same. i just wish i didn’t feel the way that i do, and ive tried expressing to him the need for a break and he always says yea ill give you the break aside from work and it never happens. i literally live the same day every single day, it’s so depressing.