I need to complain about myself!
I don't know why I don't learn or maybe how to learn/ unlearn this!
Does anyone else with ADHD start jobs really strongly, then slowly fall apart over the little things?
I always come in full of energy and ideas. I work hard, people like me, I care about doing well and usually make a really good impression at first. But then the small maintenance tasks start slipping. Follow ups, updates, replying on time, admin, remembering tiny things. Then it snowballs because once I feel behind, I avoid it more.
The frustrating part is I’m actually good at my job. It’s the “being organised consistently” part that gets me.
I’ve had supportive managers and people generally see my potential, but I’ve built this horrible habit over the years where once I feel like I’m dropping balls, I panic and start looking for another job before I can “fail” at the current one.
I really don’t want to do that this time. I actually like this company, my manager and my role, and I can genuinely see myself doing well here if I can just stop letting the little things pile up.
For context, I am medicated. Xaggitin worked for me but the side effects weren’t great, and I’m now titrating onto Elvanse. 60mg has helped massively already. But I’m starting to realise some of this isn’t medicatable ADHD symptoms , it’s symptoms in the form of habits I built over years of coping badly. Avoidance, overwhelm, procrastination once things feel “too big”, I'm like a snail or tortoise. Or a cold willy. I shrivel 😅. And another effect of this is I will panic at night, dream about it. Stay up worrying but still never really improve.
Or I do silly things like put my inbox enails into "To do" folders that never get done and that's so I don't have to look at them.
So genuinely, has anyone managed to change this or similar patterns? What actually helped? And if you’re currently in the same boat, please tell me I’m not alone because I swear ADHD brains can turn one unread email into a Victorian haunting 😭