I’ve known this for a long time but it’s hitting hard today.
All of the moms I’ve had in my life are gone now. My grandmothers, their family, my aunts on both sides, my older cousins and my mom are all gone now.
My dad is still alive at 92 but it’s just not the same. When he goes he will be the last of that generation on both sides of my family.
For me this is the hardest thing about getting old.
I will be 70 on a couple of months. I’ve been retired 15 years and have moved away from the US before things got so…… well you know.
I’ve come to realize that I’ve been holding on to a lot of relationships where I am the only one who puts in any effort at all. Most of my friends can’t be bothered to call, text or send an email. I’ve written a list of them and, since I haven’t heard from any of them for over a year, I’ve crossed them off of my friends list.
I’m not sure what to do with the 20+/- years I have left. My health is good. My family lives well into their 80’s and 90’s.
I’ve traveled about as much as I want to. I hate the getting there part. The TSA, security and flights make me crabby and even though I can afford business class, I still hate the flights.
My partner and I don’t have any children although we are close friends with some who do. We both enjoy them.
Half of my family is dead. My dad is still alive at 93. My brother, while we are fairly close don’t see each other often. Most of his live revolves around his daughter and grandchildren. He has flat out told me he will not come to visit me where I live.
I don’t get much pleasure from visiting the US.. everything seems like an obligation. Visit dad, visit brother, see some cousins (most of whom are now off my list). It’s expensive and exhausting.
Where I live is a mid sized Mexican town with a small American/ Canadian group. It’s very cliquey and most of them drink more than I’m comfortable with. I’m mostly fluent and have some Mexican friends.
After that long winded explanation my question is this. What do you all do to fill your time?
I have read most of the classics, am an accomplished knitter, have been involved in the local university and am tired of art openings and charity fundraisers.
Netflix only gets me so far and I no longer drink alcohol.
What do you all do with your days?