u/Battamonda

My heart is hurting really badly, I want to convert but it seems like I never will. When I debate it’s always “you have an excuse for everything, you never listen to me” when I make a correction with evidence but no one wants to listen to me, but apparently I HAVE to listen to them instead, which I do, and I present my evidence for my side, which is a terrible thing to do I guess. I got into an argument and my mom called me an necromancing idol worshipper for trying to explain there is no idolatry to Mary or saints, honoring and respecting isn’t worshipping, if it was then we wouldn’t be waving our country’s flag outside. She doesn’t even put up any Christian imagery because she says it’s necromancy and idol worship. All she has is watching Christian alien conspiracy theories, stories from MAGA evangelicals spewing anti-catholic, anti-any denomination but nondenom, and sometimes goes to church on Sundays. I feel like I feel no presence in this house or even my own church because it’s a nondenom “haha joke about something, haha guys my wife is hot and I’m going to say this every Sunday, okay scripture, now go home” type church. I love my pastor but it doesn’t feel right at all. I don’t know where to go, and I am not in a situation to go against my parents and when I marry and move out, and I don’t think it will be possible to convert then either because she will be a part of my life because she is my mother and I don’t want to be the reason her mental health declines. I love my mom but I feel like there’s no Jesus in my home and no visual reminders of him, only anger.