John walked through the forest, but he didn’t know for how long, maybe hours. His brain still hurt from the headache, and his hand was sore from the branches' needles. But he kept going because he was brave, and he wanted to go home. John would have gotten lost in the darkness if his brother hadn’t been yelling to the high heavens. It took a few minutes of following his brother's voice before he made it to the treeline.
John could see his stump in the clearing, and atop it with a lantern was Marcus. Far beyond Marcus was the dim light of a new day. Marcus was looking around and seemed worried. John was scared of how his brother would feel about what he did, so he stood in the trees rubbing his knife handle. He didn’t like the wobble the handle had. John looked at Marcus. Marcus looked scared, and John never saw Marcus scared. John wondered why Marcus was scared. Maybe it was because he thought John would lose his bullets. John didn’t move from the trees. He just stood in the freezing wind trying to stay awake. Although he tried to keep his eyes from closing, John grew tired as the warm air glided across his neck. It felt nice and cozy, but John didn’t want to sleep in the forest.
Eventually John thought punishment was better than the cold, so he walked towards his brother. When Marcus saw him, John began to cry, and his body suddenly got really tired. His vision became dark and his body got heavy. As he walked across the field, he reached his arms towards his brother but tripped on the ground. As John fell into the cold grass, he started to drift asleep. He was so tired, and the grass was so soft. Before he fell asleep, John heard his brother's voice. It was angry and loud, but John couldn’t hear what he was saying. John just stared at the grass through his half-closed eyes. Marcus kept yelling and yelling until John could barely understand his muffed voice.
“GET AWAY FROM HIM!”
John was too tired to react to the gunshot, but he liked the smell of the gunpowder falling into his nose. John remembered Marcus’s hand grabbing his collar and pulling him through the grass as he looked up at the blurry stars. John saw his brother's face through the haze and the antlers hanging high above him. The foggy white eyes seemed to glow as they stared down at us. Then Marcus shouted again.
"JOHN, YOU NEED TO RU—." Marcus went to heaven, but his severed arm stayed gripped to John as the boy’s back fell against the stump with a bubbly pop.
John screamed in pain when his back hit the wood. But all he could do was watch the milky eyes gaze down at him from high above. Unmoving and perfectly silent, it watched John until his screaming became quiet. John’s chest quickly rose and fell as he watched the thing. Focusing his eyes, he could see the needle-like hairs on the demon's blackened fingers dripping blood onto the lantern Marcus had dropped. The fire inside the lantern was so little, and its flame was so low. It had just enough light to show the monster's foot stepping over it and resting beside John.
Its foot was as big as John’s body, and the two curved claws that stuck out of it were the size of swords. The monster took a long time lifting its claws. Then with both of them in sync, it struck the log three times.
*Thump, thump, thump.*
The trees beyond the candlelight erupted in movement and sounds. Thunderous steps and mumblings surrounded the two, and it wasn’t a minute later when John heard the first of the screams.
He was exhausted and afraid, and his back hurt too much to turn around. John saw strange shapes and silhouettes of feathers in the dark. He could hear the calls of elks and singing savages against the begging of dead people. The men’s shouts stopped after a while, but the women’s never did. Only ending when they got too far into the forest for John to hear them. As the Legion ravaged Roanoke, a constant chant came from the trees. A mix of devils and sinful men.
"CROA, HAHA, TOAN, HAHA, CROA, HAHA, TOAN, HAHA!”
John stared up at the monster, only looking away to his brother's clenched fist, still wrapped around his collar. The blood dripping from it soaked into John’s favorite shirt. The blood was warm. The monster waited, its massive figure just beyond the dying candle's flame. It watched and waited, eying John like a dog eyed a stick.
As the screaming women were carried too far for John to hear and the chanting fell to a quiet whisper, the monster kept its eyes on our hero. Then slowly the thing ripped its claws from the stump with a sappy squeak and pulled its foot back into the darkness. Then, as quiet as the night, it turned away its milky eyes and started back for the trees.
John knew he was facing the devil, even if he couldn’t remember why. So he did his best to be a hero.
John grunted as he tried to sit up but stopped when a sharp pain shot through his back. He opened his mouth towards the sky, eyes wide in pain as he screamed. But John was a hero, and John had faith. He threw himself forward towards Marcus’s body but was weighed down by his brother's arm still clenching his collar. John begged the arm to let go, but it only gave way when he pulled the fingers off one by one. Arms are a lot heavier than John thought they would be.
He screamed in pain when he fell over his brother's chest but he didn’t have time to cry. He started pulling at the gun but realized it was strapped across his brother's body. As he struggled to free the weapon he realized that the candlelight didn’t reach Marcus’s head. John didn’t know if it was even there anymore.
John cut the gun’s strap with his knife and fell back with the freed weapon. Then he reached into his brother's bag and pulled out his powder horn. John's eyes hurt, and he could barely see when he dumped the charge in, but he knew that God would guide his hand. The powder horn ran empty as the black sand overflowed the barrel and spilled over the grass. John reached into his pocket and pulled out his last bullet. He pressed the round against the open barrel, then packed it tight with the ram rod. Each strike into the barrel sent hellfire up John’s back, and he screamed to God as he wept. John dropped the rod and sat against the stump. It felt better when the stump held his back for him.
Tears filled John's eyes as he leaned forward to pull powder from the grass and drop it into the flash pan. He wasn’t strong enough to shoulder the weapon, so John pressed his knees together and set the gun between them. It had been a long time since the feast, and the rising sun was just high enough to hit the treetops. They were a beautiful orange. John could barely see the monster at the treeline, his eyes were blurry from tears, and he could hardly stay awake. That’s when John saw the rope to light the gunpowder was cold. John cried. He cried and cried because he wanted to get to heaven. But then from the corner of his eye, John saw the last light of the lanterns' candle burning lower than before.
John stretched out his hand and grabbed the lantern's metal handle. Pulling it to him caused more pain, but John didn't stop. He opened the latch to see the candle and its baby flame. John didn’t want to hurt, he didn’t want to cry. He hesitated to put his hand into the melted wax. Then the flame died.
John panicked and sunk his hand into the burning half-liquid. It melted over his skin as he ripped out the wick. He howled in pain at the burning but kept enough strength to press the dead wick into the powder of the gun.
John noticed the ringing first. High-pitched and terribly loud. Next was a tightness in his right eye that held it shut, and blurry vision fading back into his left. The sun shone, and God's light fell onto John. The light showed his brother's gun was gone, having torn itself apart from the gunshot. John could only see a blur of red where his knees had been and a brown shard of the wooden stock planted in his stomach. He tried raising his hands to touch his face, but he couldn’t feel his left arm, and the right rose after great effort.
When John tried moving his fingers he found that the only one not broken or limp was his ring finger. He poked around with his broken limb feeling the layers of his face from hair down to bone. He barely reacted when he cut himself on a metal shard jutting from his eye socket. Slowly tracing his finger to the side of his head, he felt the other end of the metal poking out from behind his ear.
John was scared, but he did his best to be a hero. And God rewarded him. The demon stood in the sunlight. It was tall and black, but John couldn’t make out much more because of the blood in his eye. That’s when John felt something slide under his body. It was soft and cradled his broken bones perfectly.
As the two layers of velvet pulled into him, John felt himself sink into the comfort. The sky got big as he left the devil that was before him, causing it to turn from a giant, into a speck of black amongst the ocean of orange-topped trees. John was carried into the air as he looked at the untouched forest, and the shimmering sea, both aglow with a warm orange. John struggled to roll over, but he wished to see his savior, so he tried his best. When John managed to turn his head, he was astonished. How could Jacob have wrestled such a thing as this?
Wings all greater than that of a ship’s mainsail extended from the Holy’s body, which itself was a mass of folds, creases, and muscle. Two wings cradled John in their gentle embrace, while the others took flight without moving. It had velvet wings and aged scales with short fur but no feathers. I always thought they would have feathers. It had a face, but not a real face. It was like a painting of a face. The angel was covered in dark colors, but John could make out a beautiful amber coat in the creases of its wings and body.
The angel said nothing as it carried John to heaven. But John didn’t need to speak, for John had trusted in the Lord God and would be given all that was destined for him. John cannot record what happens next, because man cannot see heaven. Only when our bodies are broken and new ones are given can we fully see the truth of God and all his glory.
Amen.