u/Basic-Bear3426

hey all,

our girl is just about 14 months old. She got sick with her first ear infection a month ago simultaneously while cutting 6 teeth at once and started waking up very reliably between 1am to 4am and because I became desperate to sleep I started nursing her in the middle of the night just to quickly get her down, but that has really effected us at this point.

it has been 4 weeks straight of her waking up at this time. I first posted here our schedule, which had been working for so long - 12 hours of sleep at night from 7pm to 7am, then 3/3/4 for naps. about 2.5-3 hours for naps altogether. I was told I was expecting too much daytime AND nighttime sleep, to cap naps to 2.

okay. so we did that, now for 1 week. it has not changed anything. she is still waking up every day, like clockwork, at exactly at 1 am usually. she will NOT sleep unless I nurse her, despite going down independently for naps and nighttime sleep. We have attempted to switch to ONLY my husband going in to hold her so that she understands there’s no more milk at night, but this arrangement is not going well because he cannot get back to sleep after going in/out and holding her for these short bursts where she finally quiets down nd then screams on contact with the bed. But she ALSO screams worse if either of us goes in and just pats her from the side of the crib - this is definitely worse than us trying to let her CIO, and she almost seems to panic until she’s picked up.

so we tried to just drop her to 1 nap in the middle of the day: 7am wake, nap around 11am, up 2 hours later. she’s been fighting the second nap anyway. Sometimes if she’s needed it I’ve offered a 2nd nap and now she just won’t take it. She’s been acting REALLY tired by 630pm, so we just do her bedtime and put her down then; she’s usually asleep by 7. On nights when I don’t nurse her to sleep, she’ll complain for an hour straight before she falls asleep again - so, she’s not getting the full 12 hours. It’s usually more like 11.

I‘m just at a loss. I really dont want to nurse her at night for so many reasons: its disruptive to me and usually means I won’t sleep for hours; it’s bad for her teeth and could cause cavities. she’s eating PLENTY of calories during the day. So many snacks and large meals.

so I am just needing advice. what in our schedule needs more tweaking? what is the most productive way to approach the night wakes without causing more sleep habits that we’ll need to break?

A few weeks ago, my 13 month old was very sick - congested, fevery, etc, and teething 6 teeth at once. Sleep was impossible and we began bringing her into our bed for just a short reprieve of her crying and congestion because she could not sleep without being elevated.

It has been a month since then and she is waking up every single night absolutely inconsolable from 12am sharp to 2am. I try to feed her to sleep and it doesn’t work - she nurses and then climbs all over us, hitting and slapping. I tried to switch her to one 2.5 hour nap in the middle of the day, which did not work. I tried to make her daytime schedule more rigid. This did not work.

She goes down independently for naps and nighttime sleep. We use the same wind down routine every day. She is getting plenty of movement, sunlight, and calories during the day; last night we even made sure to feed her a snack before bed in case she’s really just not getting enough calories during the day.

her schedule is 7pm down to sleep. Now, awake from 12-2am. Wake up for the day at 7am. First nap at 930, latest 10am. She sleeps for 1.5-2 hours, so wakeup around 11. Second nap 2pm, wake up 1 hour later, at 3pm.

I have no idea what the hell is happening but we cannot do this anymore. We fall asleep for the night (parents) at 10 and with the 12 wake up there are some nights we can’t fall back asleep because the crying is so stressful/intense and we only get those 1st 2 hours of sleep from 10-12. My health is declining.

there is no change if we give her ibuprofen. There is no illness. She is just acting like she is starving despite refusing much of her solid food during dinner time (with us presenting many options).

Do we just need to CIO these wakes to break the habit? We tried this one night and she still cried for 1.5 hours straight, which made me feel so horrible I was on edge for days and broke down the next night when it just happened again.