The end of the road
Today marks 6 weeks since my husband became pain free. It’s been 6 hard weeks trying to grief his loss and deal with all the financial/legal aftermath. But what hurts most is that I’m grieving him but also having to smile and be strong for our children.
My husband was diagnosed with stage 2 laryngeal cancer in September of last year and rung the bell in December. All indications were that treatment was successful and he was due to have a PET scan in March. But something happened and a tumor began to appear on his cheek. Many more tumors followed and within 2 months of ringing the bell, he was diagnosed with stage 4. I wish we had been told then that it was terminal. But instead, we were led to believe treatment would once again work. He passed a week after his first immunotherapy treatment.
I’m so torn and lost without him. The worst part is how our children don’t understand what is going on. My oldest son lights up when he sees a picture of his dad and loves watching a video of him. But he doesn’t understand daddy won’t be coming home again. He’s only 2. And I just don’t know how I’m supposed to relive his death over and over again when my boys get a bit older and ask about him.
Our children are 2 and 1. They were my husband’s everything. He waited so long to be a daddy to little boys, and left so soon after finally having his wish come true.
Cancer robbed my family from so much. It robbed my children from growing up with a father and it robbed me from living my happily ever after with the love of my life.