Struggling with how girlfriend handles her migraines
My girlfriend [early 30s] struggles with chronic migraines. They run in her family. I do not suffer from migraines so I don't understand that specific pain but I do have a chronic autoimmune disease so I understand some of the pain and struggles of dealing with a chronic health issue.
There are two issues I struggle with right now. One is that she wants all lights off to avoid triggering a migraine and I cannot live in a house that is dark 24/7. I have told her this but we cannot seem to come to a reasonable agreement here. She says she understands but then complains every time someone turns on a light.
Two is that I do not trust her to advocate herself and try out different treatments. First off, I had to nag her for a year to even go to a neurologist in the first place. She had chronic migraines for years before she sought any treatment. Now she goes and it's helped but she's still suffers from migraines twice a week on average and more when there's unusual routines or stressful stuff happening. Once, she asked me if she should lie to her doctor to say she had fewer migraines because she was only having so many cause it was the holiday season so it "didn't count." I tried to talk to her about this last night and she just said that she's doing better than she used to so she doesn't need to try a different medication but maybe she'll ask her a higher dose (translation she will only do so if I continually remind her that she said this).
I don't know what's reasonable for me to ask and all this is feeling even more untenable because we're starting to talk about children. It feels like if she had to take care of a child then she would end up with a never ending migraine that would make us all miserable.
Also, pretty sure she has depression (she thinks so too) but trying to get to look into treatment for that goes about the same. She'll vaguely agree to look into it and then never do anything.
What is fair of me to expect or to ask for as her partner? I know there's no guarantee that other treatments will work but I really feel like she needs to try more options. I think because her family has migraines and other chronic issues she has just come to expect a level of daily pain as part of life.
tl;dr I do not trust how my girlfriend manages her migraine treatment and am having arguments about light levels. I want advice on what is fair of me to ask of her.