u/Background_Title_922

I "inherited" a financial advisor along with some money when my last parent died. Long story but I didn't really get my act together until my mid-30s (mental health, substance issues, some other stuff). I went back to grad school and I'm doing really well now professionally/financially. BUT I'm behind on retirement planning and still have a lot of anxiety about being where I need to be by the time retirement rolls around. I think just because things were so precarious for a while.

My savings is being managed by a financial advisor with very close family ties (he and my father had a wealth management firm together, I've known him since I was little). We're close. He's a father figure. But as far as financial planning I think he's doing a pretty lousy job and I think part of that might be the fact that we do have a family-like attachment. He charges me very little in fees on the plus side.

But my suboptimal returns are really stressing me out and I keep hearing that no one really uses advisors anymore. That I should set up a simple portfolio for myself, or dump everything into VOO or a target date fund. I have some inherited IRAs which complicates things a little bit, but either I need to find someone new or do this on my own. I've been thinking this for a while but the thought of actually taking action has been stressing me out and now it's getting to be critical.

I'm going to talk to him and see if we can work on it but I'm thinking I'll probably have to move on. How are my fellow Xennials managing this aspect of life planning?? Advisors, independently, something else in the middle?

I know it’s sort of petty, but if I hold or open the door for someone and don’t get even the slightest acknowledgement, not even a quick nod or smile, I get really angry. I was juggling some coffee this morning and still made the effort to hold the door and this guy didn’t even look up from his phone. This happens pretty frequently and triggers some irrational internal rage for like 45 seconds. I need to let this one go…

I'm 45. I don't have a ton saved on my own for retirement. I have a well-paying, professional job now but didn't work for many years when I was younger due to some health issues and didn't go back to grad school until I was 35. So I'm way behind on the curve on that front. I did receive an inheritance when my remaining parent passed away two years ago and put most of that toward my retirement savings. I have a lot of anxiety around being ready for retirement. I have an enjoyable and relatively chill job I can do part-time and still make good money so I'm not gunning to retire super early.

Between a rollover IRA and a SEP (I max it out every year) I have 126k saved, and right now in the inherited IRAs there is 675k so a total of 801k. Also 50k in a HYSA. I am unhappy with how the funds are currently being managed.

My FA has been managing our family's money for many, many years and is a close friend and former business associate of my deceased father. I basically inherited him along with the funds. I am grateful that he takes only a very small percentage, but last year my return was only 8% which was pretty discouraging and I'm losing confidence, particularly given my age. The family connection makes it trickier and more emotionally laden but I think I need to find someone new or try to do this by myself. I'm just not confident he's at the top of his game and I'm also worried that emotions and family loyalty might get in the way of him being more aggressive with managing the funds.

Is it a bad idea to just open a Vanguard account and put it all in a target date fund? Or just VOO (or something similar)? 70% stocks and the rest in bonds? My FA gives the impression that my risk tolerance shouldn't be so high I'd be comfortable with doing that, if I understand him correctly, but he's not exactly unbiased. Any advice is much appreciated.