car crash
idk i have to get this off my chest this might not be the right place but i need to talk about it and it might be stupid but idc
im 16 and got my license on may 1st, my parents wanted me to go have fun and drive around since id say i was a good driver, i was hanging out with my friends all weekend and my parents are super strict about there only being 1 person in the car with me because thats the law where i live for the first 6 months or something
well anyway i ignored it and i had 2 of my friends in the car so that was strike 1 i feel like, strike 2 i did it again on that sunday, then when i was in this busy area i was with my friends and did something stupid i got caught stealing from dicks trying to be someone im not. sidetrack- i play football and im pretty known so my face is pretty known around my area and my coach is super popular. my assistant coaches mom was the one who caught me. she is a blessing she didnt call the cops she just had them discipline me.
but my coaches found out right after while im with 2 of my friends and we are driving and theres a green light ahead and theres 1 car in front of me and the light barely turns yellow and the person in front of me speeds up so i think we are both going to get through the light and my coach goes to call me about the dicks situation and i look down for one second and the person in front of me slams on his breaks and i rear end him.
i feel so stupid it was my late grandpas car and i was younger when he died so i never got the chance to really grieve him but when i got out of the car and saw it totaled i wanted to die right there i have never felt worse in my life and the fact that i put not only one but 2 of my friends lives in danger just shows how stupid i am and me stealing was strike 3 so all that karma hit me like a truck and i keep blaming myself and everytime i close my eyes i see the crash and i hear it sometimes still. its been a week and everyone says it will get better but it really hasnt and i just want to apologize to my grandpa i think he would be so disappointed in me and not only that it was his car it was the last piece of him my dad had and to take that away from him i just feel horrible and i want to shut down and every time im in a car i get nervous and i just want to travel back in time and restart before i got my license im really really sorry and its messing with my head so much and i can barely sleep and this feeling is so annoying and i almost risked my parents financial stability and because of a few stupid bad decisions and mistakes i almost ruined my family and friends lives and i keep trying to pray on it but nothing is helping and all i wanna do right now is go to his grave and say sorry but id feel selfish going and asking my parents to take me. i just felt like i needed to get that off my chest and talk to not just someone but anyone thank you if you read this