My life with chronic fatigue
Hello.
I'm posting this message hoping to find a bit of support.
I'm 27 (F).
I spend my days in bed.
I'm a little active in the morning, and I use that time to tidy up or do some cleaning.
Every day, my life is one more grief to process.
Since I was 13, I've had severe depressions with psychosis, dissociation at 17 and at 21.
I've experienced prostitution, abuse, psychological violence (family-related), but also endometriosis which made me go through simply intolerable pain (ER every month, with opioids), which I still suffer from today.
I always thought that if I was put on welfare around 18, (until then I was doing very well in school) it was to develop myself artistically, like it was part of destiny.
That's the meaning I found in it.
So when I wasn't too unwell, I would write or sing.
I believed with all my heart that I had the possibility to do that, that my life could be filled with these things, also learning guitar, getting better at piano, and watching myself grow on that path.
But I struggle so much. Fatigue steals my entire existence from me, and it has for years.
I’m holding on to emptiness, I can't forgive life for "making me lose so much time" being sick.
My old acquaintances have a job, the start of a career, they do sports, they party, they go out.
Sometimes, it relieves me to tell myself that if in two years I'm still here like this, I will leave.
I don't want a life like this.
Thank you for reading me.
PS: sorry for the mistakes i speak French
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