Estate attorney for my Grandma called my mom to tell her that both her and my cousin owe $5K for various estate expenses. They each put $5K in after my Grandma passed, another $1k in May, another $2K in October that my cousin thought would finish off the year's utilities and pay the lawyer fees. So totaling $14K if they both did indeed put the same in. Its now almost May, my mom has called almost weekly since the new year to the estate attorney requesting updates and was told the estate attorney was on vacation/close to retiring, etc. I asked my mom to request an itemized list and copy of the paperwork which I dont think she was able to do, she said when she called the office told her it was for "utilities, mowing, snow removal, fees and if anything was left over they would get something back." Does any of this sound normal? I have no idea how this works but...$14K and then another $10K due now for...what??
Backstory- grandmother passed late Jan 2025, her will has my mother 50% and my cousin is executor with 50% of the estate as my mom's only sister and BIL were killed in an accident in 2023. My mom is in her 70s with lots of medical issues. We spent all of last year every other weekend cleaning out my grandparents home of 75 years and it was extremely painful and exhausting for the 3 of us going through every memory, everything triggering the grief from the car accident.
One silver lining was I planned to purchase their home, with the stipulation the home couldn't be sold for less than the appraised value as after my aunt & uncle passed away my cousin had my grandma update her will to include this verbiage (stems from messy estate stuff with her brother and step siblings.) Cousin set up the appraisal that seemed inflated but was told its a "sellers market". After the appraisal we had an inspection and various repair estimates - the house was built in 1948 & needs all new electrical, new roof, baseboard heat that we were told would be a problem for insurance...so add on another $50-60K if we're lucky and thats not including any cosmetic updates like a dishwasher...just to secure the loan. I was devastated and embarassed to tell my cousin we couldn't afford it. Cousin says grandmas will is what it is. So new plan - my mother buys out my cousin's half and then sells it to us with the repair estimates included. This was June.
Meanwhile unbeknownst to me my cousin had told my mom that these CD's and life insurance policies would be coming as 2 checks, one to my mom and one to my cousin. Surprise, the full amount came to my mom. She called the companies thinking there was a mistake to be told it was 100% hers, yes her sister was listed as a beneficiary but she predeceased her and they were not set up per stirpes. Mom calls cousin when each check comes in what she's being told and said cousin was weird and ended the calls.
Sept we have a convo with the 3 of us in person and my cousin's brother on the phone. They presented a spreadsheet with the policies showing they were for both my mom and aunt and attack my mom for not splitting the money, mom tries to tell them she was just informing them what she was being told and the brother gets really nasty to her. Then they say if she gives them their $83K half, they'll gift me $10K back after the sale of the home.
Mom proceeds to have multiple MI events afterwards because of the stress and in October finally tells the executor no, its legally her money and she wants to proceed with buying out her half of the house. The brother flips out, executor stays mostly neutral. I thought about contacting the estate attorney then but I was worried about rocking the boat too much and just want to go to the only place thats ever felt like home.
It all feels shady. Idk what to do or think.