I’m curious what others think about what’s been going on with my 4 yr old daughter. I’ll preface by saying I also have a 7yr old son who has been diagnosed with ADHD so I feel like I’m hyper vigilant about behaviors.
My 4 yr old daughter is going through a hard time. She is very intelligent. I know everyone thinks that about their kids but bear with me. She is very smart (beginning to read, doing basic math, high regards from her preschool teachers). She has also walked and talked very early. She’s always been ahead of her peers in that aspect.
Behaviorally she’s falling apart lately. She’s been going pre school full time since Sept 2025. 5 days a week, all day. Her teachers say nothing but good things about her and her behavior. Her only issue is he has an issue at drop off with separation anxiety. She often needs a little push to get in the door but once she’s in she’s fine.
At home however she’s a wreck. Constant crying, breaking down over everything. Shes anxious about little things and is always “scared” of things going wrong. She’s very rageful and angry when things don’t go her way. She hits her brother, yells, slams her fists when things aren’t “perfect” or “her way”. She is extremely impatient and gets angry almost immediately. If she’s not angry about something she’s crying about the next. My husband and I say it’s almost like she’s looking for reasons to be mad or sad. We hold boundaries, have discussions about behavior, work with her to help regulate when she’s mad. Nothing helps. She’s aware she’s doing it but says she “can’t help it”.
We are at a loss. I don’t know if this is an age thing or if something else is going on? I’m not sure if I’m just dealing with a deeply emotional little girl or if we another neurodivergent child who needs our help. I just want to do what’s best for her. She’s starting kindergarten in the fall and I would hate for her to have a hard time.
She’s happy and joyful when things are good but turns on a dime when things go off course. I plan to bring this up with her pediatrician but she’s not due for a well visit for a couple of months so I figured I’d ask here first.