When I was around sixteen, when I started drinking.
I'd drink whatever my friends could get their hands on
I still remember us downing liters of cheap black vodka mixed with off brand juice cartons.
We used to go to the checkout right at peak hour, just before it became illegal to sell alcohol (in Spain it’s usually after eleven). It was kind of humiliating, but we did what we could with what we had.
I even remember editing my ID on some crappy phone apps to change my date of birth with my very limited skills. It rarely worked, but the few times it did, I already knew the rest of the night would go smoothly.
This time, we went to a park with a bunch of steep hills, anyone from Coruña will know what I mean. We have a lot of parks where there’s a specific spot with swings, a slide, and everything else around it is just grass and uphill slopes. The worst part is that this area is the least lit. I mean, why would anyone even walk through there?
I remember getting there with a couple of friends. We had our outfits on, trying to look cool, carrying a speaker blasting rojuu, sticky ma (basically whatever hyperpop could scare women away the fastest).
The ice was melting in the bag, dripping as I walked. We dropped everything on a bench and started pouring drinks into plastic cups: one or two ice cubes, then someone would pour alcohol until you said “stop!” Then you’d add the mixer, it tasted awful, so you’d just drink it as fast as possible and that’s when the magic would happen I guess.
At some point nature called. The thing is, I’m pretty shy and most of my friends are girls, so I didn’t want to make anyone uncomfortable.
So what I usually did was say I was heading off and run toward some tree where there was no way anyone could see me because it was almost pitch black. Also, for some reason, running while drunk gives you this weird, funny, almost unique feeling.
While I was peeing, I started to feel this strange, suffocating emptiness. Like when you look into the dark hallway from your room at night.
Nothing had happened yet, but the silence and being so far away from my friends was starting to get to me.
I turned around, looked down to see where I was stepping, but right as I was about to take my first step, I lifted my gaze
And out of the darkness of the night, I emerged. Or at least something wearing me (?).
Little by little, it became clearer.
Was it a joke? A coincidence? My mind was racing and completely blank at the same time.
I never saw its face. Maybe it was too dark, or maybe it didn’t have one, idk that’s honestly the part that creeps me out the most.
I remember the way it walked: calm, steady, without making any sound as if it had never been there, or as if its shoes didn’t touch the grass.
It passed a couple of meters away from me. Not close enough to invade my space, but close enough for me to recognize my clothes, my height, my body and everything except my face.
And as soon as it walked past me, it dissolved back into the night.
It left me with the tightest knot in my throat I’ve ever felt. Something inside me was telling me to scream and to stay silent, to freeze and to run.
After a few seconds I started moving again and ran back to where my friends were.
I don’t really know how I did it, but I managed to get them to walk me home. It wasn’t far anyway.
I had a few more drinks, but nothing could shake that feeling off. Every time I tried to speak, 'that' would come back into my mind and cut my sentences in half.
I guess my friends just thought I was really drunk. I was skinny and alcohol tends to hit skinny people faster, so it made sense.
That happened in 2022, near the end of the school year.
I still don’t know what I saw. It hasn’t stopped me from going out or anything, but I try to avoid situations like that.
I try to convince myself that, for some reason, it was a homeless guy who just happened to be wearing the same baggy clothes I did as a teenager, and that somehow my hearing just cut out for those few seconds.
Whatever it was… it didn’t feel like a person-to-person interaction.
I'm open to any explanation at this point so I can get some relief, so my mind finally doesn't have to ignore these blind spots.