u/Awkward_Hat_5597

I have a reactive & nervous rescue lab mix of 5 years. He has always had some separation anxiety, but it’s gotten worse recently because I went through a divorce and moved out of our old house where he had a lovely dog sister who kept him company.

Now that I’m starting out fresh in a new city and a new apartment, it’s time my dog starts being independent again.

Initially, he would freak out immediately. Gradually though, he started going from a few more seconds to a few minutes to as of this morning, 18 minutes! So definitely progress.

Question is — where do I go from this very important inflection point?

I leave him in the crate when I leave but without the door closed (he freaks out when I do). He stays there for a few minutes, but rarely rests his head and goes straight to stand by the door the whole time. He has a few moments he’d search the apartment for me and try to lay on a second bed, but almost immediately he springs right back by the door. He doesn’t pace or pants like he used to, but he’s super alert by the door.

Same thing if I leave him a Kong. He would work on it for a few minutes, after that he would just stand by the door.

I hear that it’s important to have dogs feel relaxed when I leave. Him not freaking out verbally is definitely progress, but where do I go from here? How do I teach him to relax?

Context of what I’ve done so far:
- I have him sleep in his crate away from my bed
- I have him rest randomly in his crate or second bed (place command)
- when he goes into the crate voluntarily I give him a treat
- I’ve done some desensitization of Keys and door closing sounds
- I do random order calm departure & calm arrivals
- I take him out on at least 30 minutes of walk + fetch session, then have him rest another 30 mins before separation anxiety training starts
- He is also on trazodone

I got into Wharton with 150k scholarship + another 70k in external, such that my financial burden isn’t horrible. At the time, I was thrilled to accept the offer.

Little did I realize that I may not be in the best position to start such a program.

Context. I am 34. Got a pretty solid career track doing sector specific VC for the past 10 years, but got stuck in a very low paying job for the past 3 - which was a sacrifice that I had made for my spouse by moving to some third tier city

Well, my spouse since then has developed severe alcoholism leading to violent incidents and we are now going through a divorce. Amidst all the chaos I applied for MBA, because I felt I had been pigeon holed into niche sector investing with limited in person network. I wanted to move to tier 1 city and get into broader VC or PE, and I just couldn’t do it alone while dealing with an abusive alcoholic at home.

However, now the actual program is about to start and I am finally physically away from my spouse, I find that my mental health is extremely fragile due to years of abuse. I am getting traumatic flashbacks, and get panic attacks daily about what if this MBA doesn’t work out and id be a double failure both personally (marriage) and professionally. AND I would be old af at the end of the program.

I am taking with a therapist and also going on meds. But I know this may take some time to fully recover.

Those who finished MBAs - do you think the program is doable with such health condition? I also don’t know what else I’d do if I didn’t do the MBA, given the deteriorating symptoms.