u/Awkward_Finding937

i keep seeing posts about people talking about how they were doing completely ass in grade 9 or 10 or 11 and then they had a comeback in grade 12 and got a 97 average or got into mac life sci or something. i just kept getting worse and worse. i dont know what is wrong with me. now i have 50s in two stem courses this semester.

i have bad symptoms of adhd and i never study or feel urgency anymore. ive been like this for 2 years and i always feel numb at home when it comes to work and its always just me waking up in the morning regretting doing nothing even though i want to work so badly. i used to hate myself a lot and i guess i have learned to forgive myself and be more optimistic but idrk what i feel now.

i guess that things are okay because i got into my top choice and my average cant go down and im still gonna graduate. but my top choice is just some random biology program at guelph. i wanna go into research or do vet school. and yeah i really wanna do the program ad guelph is my top choice but i feel bad because its not prestigious at all like mac life sci or uoft life sci. it feels like a fallback even though i guess i know its not.

i just feel like i dont even deserve to win. i got what i wanted but i got rejected from 6 programs out of 10. got into 3 at guelph and 1 laurier.

i guess i am getting mental help now with a social worker at my school and theyre gonna get me a mental health nurse but idrk. what if i just fail in first year uni and fuck it all up again. idk.

does anyone else relate or something. or is anyone else like not a 95 average. or at least is anyone else going to guelph. idek why im making this post here. maybe im selfish and want attention

is it tied to after you accept your offer or is it sometime in june?

weird situation i have the opposite problem of everyone

or should i just wait until the last minute to accept it. out of the 3 i applied to im 95% sure on what program i wanna do and theyre all in CBS. but idk maybe my decision will change? i have until june 1st

i was originally set on accepting my marine and freshwater bio offer because its quite similar to zoology and it has co-op. but idrk. im also debating on molecular biology and genetics.

im not really sure what i wanna do for my actual career. at least right now, i feel like i would want a more lab based job with like microbiology, molecular biology, genetics, biotech, etc.

i know it sounds like itd be dumb to pick marine bio or zoology over molecular bio if i want my career to be in molecular bio, but my logic is that i feel like im more interested in learning zoology as a subject than actually doing any zoology related careers, like wildlife or conservation or ecology and population dynamics stuff.

while for molecular bio im a bit less interested in learning it as a subject but i would rather have a career in it because its probably easier to find a job and i do like doing lab stuff more than field research.

now what i could do is do a molecular biology major and zoology minor, or marine and freshwater bio major and molecular bio or microbio minor. i guess for grad school your bsc major name doesnt matter much anyways i think. vet school is also something that is on the table for me but im aware that thats mostly like animal experience and stuff, not your major

so idrk what i should pick. ALSO plz let me know if something in here that im saying makes 0 sense or is incorrect or i said something stupid or something because i tend to do that.

im in grade 12 and im trying to decide between zoology and marine and freshwater bio. they are almost the exact same course wise in 1st to 3rd year and only differenciate in 4th year.

marine and freshwater bio has co-op and zoology doesnt. i know that i can switch majors easily and reapply to co-op during 1st year but idrk. is co-op worth the price and the money you make?

wouldnt it take the same job hunt and effort to find someplace to find some kind of research position over the summer and without the co-op fees??? or idk maybe co-op will force me to take initiative and find a job, ive got horrible social anxiousness and im too introveted and socially awkward so i havent even been able to push through and get just a part time job.

and also idek if the 5th year for co-op is necessary if i plan on grad school or vet school (i know vet school is super experience based so idek??). wouldnt i be kinda delaying graduation for not much reason?

and also i guess maybe marine and freshwater bio is the best thing to choose right now because it provides the most flexibility due to co-op and the courses are the exact same.

sorry if anything im saying is unclear. lmk if you have no idea what im saying because i am about to fall asleep writing this

everything got worse. probably cuz i cant function sometimes due to mental issues. but everyone got better. everyone went from 70s to 95s and 100s. i was already horrible in grade 11 with a 79%, now im even worse. hell everyone around me already had 90 averages in grade 11. people at my school have 98s in like grade 10

not sure because i know job market sucks and i dont wanna end having a job doing like waste management oe something