In short: me and a long-term friend have been having some friction in our friendship since she started dating her current boyfriend. At first I was fine with it, but over time I noticed she slowly started distancing herself from her other friends. At first it felt like that early “honeymoon phase” you get in relationships — I’ve experienced that myself for a couple of months — but this has been going on for two years now.
She doesn’t want to hang out, doesn’t really message, and never asks to meet up. The only times she talks to me or suggests doing something is when she’s having problems with her boyfriend.
The final straw for me was when she told me that her boyfriend is homophobic and also openly racist. This goes completely against both mine and her values, which makes it even weirder because we both belong to a sexual minority. I can’t tolerate intolerant people, especially since I’ve dated someone of the same sex before.
I’ve asked her multiple times how she can be with someone like that, and she just avoids the question or says things like “opposites attract.” She also says that her boyfriend sees her as an “exception,” not as an equal. I’ve noticed that she just overlooks his racist and homophobic comments and behavior and doesn’t call him out on it.
I honestly don’t know what to do anymore, because talking to her about it doesn’t seem to change anything. Is it too extreme to burn bridges with her because of her boyfriend?