I'm 30 years old and was first diagnosed with testicular cancer stage I back at the end of 2022. Surgery to remove the left testicle was done rapidly after, and was told there was no signs of cancer anywhere else.
In April of 2025 I ended up in the hospital due to a pneumonia. While figuring out why the infection was so severe, the doctors found a metastasis in my lung.
I did 4 cycles of EP which ended right around the 4th of July. My tumor shrank significantly and my tumor markers had normalized. I thought I was coming out of it.
By October, right around my scheduled October follow up, I started coughing up lots of phlegm with oxidized blood which became an instan red flag. The follow up revealed the mass had started growing again...
I did 4 cycles of slavave TIP chemotherapy that ended right before Christmas. Eventually they decided it would be best to remove my entire right side lower lobe to prevent further recurrence.
My tumor markers were normalized again which is why they thought the surgery was worth it to remove any potential active tissue hiding in scar tissue from any scans.
The surgery was about 8 weeks ago and I was told that it was worth it considering the pathology showed a potentially active section.
2 weeks ago I had another follow up CT scan and bloodwork where they told me I now have another small tumor in the right bronchus. I actually started coughing up so much blood I ended up in the ER. They did a bronchoscopy to take a look at the lesion and biopsy it.
Sure enough, the pathology confirmed another recurrence. Initially the thoracic and oncology teams figured local treatment might be doable via more surgery or radiation. Given this is the third recurrence however, the tumor board decided it is more likely the issue is systemic. Microdisease could likely be present elsewhere, and they figured it was better to try to tackle the problem systemically rather than with loca treatment.
Today my request was put up for HDCT/ASCT with the hematology team, and I will likely be starting it next month.
At this point I have absolutely no hope left. I feel like I'm more doing the chemotherapy so that my family feels like I'm still trying, but I also have no more fight left in me.
The likelihood of this working seems incredibly low, which is confirmed by the massive amounts of literary review I've done regarding the subject. My chances are less than 25% for success.
I feel like at this point coping with the fact that I'm gonna die in the very near future is more logical than falsely hoping for my luck to change.
As I am finish typing this story, I have realized that I have no idea what I hope to get out of this post. But at least now my thoughts are out into ether.
I really hope that all of you who are going through this have much better luck than me and hit that 95% success rate of a cure to begin with.
I have no idea how to even describe how I feel. Even my psychologist appointments I feel have lost value. I would not even wish this upon my worst enemy.