Hello everyone. My bf and I had a long disagreement last night about my interests, especially Love and Deepspace. We have been dating for about a month and we’re taking things slow. Two nights ago, he texted that if we do go public, that is once we announce that we’re together to our friends since they don’t know yet, I have to stop having merch on me. He’s specific on K-pop boy bands and the game. I have pins and a plush doll on my bag. I asked him why, but he didn’t answer. I was having anxiety to where my chest felt heavy and my hands were numbing. Last night, we were having a phone call and he said that it’s disrespectful. I said that I can put them away for him whenever we go out, but he added that I will no longer play the game due to its hot content and has five good looking guys. I told him that I play the game for other content beyond that, such as daily tasks and battles, and I don’t lust over fictional characters. I also don’t spend a long time on the game. Once I’m done with the tasks in ten minutes or less unless there’s a new event, I take a break and save to play next time to focus on other things. I don’t play the game even when we go out, but he said that if we want the relationship to be long term, I need to basically give up everything related to the game and K-pop boy bands. I was having another anxiety so I told him that I need space for myself and then ended the call.
I don’t remember when I started playing Love and Deepspace, but I say it was when they added Sylus. I played even before I met his friends first and then him. When some of them asked about my interests, I mentioned that I enjoyed Love and Deepspace and K-pop. He already knew that I liked the game before he suddenly took interest in me and then take me out on dates. To this day, it was one of the things that became a part of who I am and my source of happiness, but for him to not support it and need me to get rid of it made this relationship uncomfortable. I tried to suggested compromises, but even that couldn’t convince him. He said that he likes all of who I am as an individual but not with the game. My feelings for bf aren’t too strong but it was comfortable enough where I enjoyed sharing my life with him, knowing him, and spending time with him. Now, I feel like if I see him, I might have a panic attack. And I will have to encounter him at some point since we are in the same friend group who go out on the weekends.
On another note, when I say I enjoyed K-pop, I mean the music. I have been listening to boy and girl groups since I was a teen. I’m not a die hard fan to follow any accounts or basically know a lot about the idols. I don’t even buy merch which is just my preference. He assumed that I have boy band merch until I told him I don’t which to him was acceptable.
We have friends who also play gacha or anime games, and I’m close with some who are familiar with Love and Deepspace, which helped us become close friends and have great discussions. But, I feel like it matters more if the support is from the bf, which in this case he’s not. I understood where he’s coming from to where I look like I’m idolizing characters and making him uncomfortable. That’s why I told him that I can make limitations but I don’t want to give up something entirely that brought fun and happiness in my life for the longest time. It feels like I was much happier and more myself than who I am now as a person who has to fit the standards of another person. I’ve read other reddits of gfs with bfs who are supportive and I wished that happened to me.
Sorry that this is very lengthy but I want to share all I can to see what you think and thanks for reading.